Art of Saying No

Topics: Question, Work Pages: 5 (2067 words) Published: December 16, 2010
Learn the Art of Saying NO
“NO” is a two-letter word but one of the most powerful words in leadership, management, and career growth. Learning to say No when you really want to is one of the important skills in work survival. It is not a negative mindset of avoiding work. Instead, it is a way of gaining control over your work and personal life, making work fit into your purpose of life, and seeking fulfillment and job satisfaction. Story:

The Man and His Two Wives

In the old days, when men were allowed to have many wives, a middle-aged Man had one wife that was old and one that was young; each loved him very much, and desired to see him like herself. Now the Man's hair was turning grey, which the young Wife did not like, as it made him look too old for her husband. So every night she used to comb his hair and pick out the white ones. But the elder Wife saw her husband growing grey with great pleasure, for she did not like to be mistaken for his mother. So every morning she used to arrange his hair and pick out as many of the black ones as she could. The consequence was the Man soon found himself entirely bald.

Moral: Yield to all and you will soon have nothing to yield. He that submits his principles to the influence and caprices of opposite parties will end in having no principles at all. Quotable Quotes: “What is a rebel? A man who says no.” ... Albert Camus “'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. 'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least – at least I mean what I say – that's the same thing, you know.' 'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'Why, you might just as well say that I see what I eat is the same thing as I eat what I see!'” ... Lewis Carroll “If a lady says No, she means Perhaps; if she says Perhaps, she means Yes; if she says Yes, she is no Lady. If a diplomat says Yes, he means Perhaps; if he says Perhaps, he means No; if he says No, he is no Diplomat.” ... Lord Bertrand Dawson “No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.” ... Henry Brooks Adams “You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.” ... Albert Camus “I say what I mean, you hear what I say. That is the end of it.” ... Barbara Cassani [browse collection of quotes and quotations] Lessons in life: Do you view people who say Yes as cooperative and those who say No as rebellious? For some strange reasons, it is easier to say No to family members or close friends than to office colleagues or clients. At exit interviews, most of the feedback raised by employees relating to unhappiness at work had to do with their inability to refuse, reject, or disagree.

Many staff and office workers feel the pressure and stress whenever they are approached by their bosses or senior colleagues for work favors. Deep in their hearts, they would have preferred to say No, either because they are already up to their necks with work, have prior commitments, or simply do not like the nature of the work favors. This heightens the resentment, dissatisfaction, and ultimately stress. Work becomes a chore. Friendship turns into hatred. Depending on the individual personalities, not being assertive when required may lead to undesirable consequences. First, not being able to express his unhappiness in office, the employee may direct his anger at innocent parties such as his family, neighbors, bystanders, or even pets. Secondly, the employee may 'explode' and unleash all he has against the office colleagues when he is no longer able to handle the pressure. Thirdly, the employee may turn vengeful against the company. This vindictive employee may resort to hate mails, sabotage, manipulation of accounts, whistle-blowing, or anything that can cause losses, humiliation or disgrace to the company or the bosses. Fourthly, a quiet introvert may be so depressed as to contemplate suicide to end the misery. Whatever the consequences, the...
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