Top-Rated Free Essay

arranged marriages

Better Essays
Are Arranged Marriages an act of love, or perhaps even torture? I find it difficult to see how anyone could possibly approve of arranged marriages. In an arranged marriage, the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than each other. Arranged marriages are most common in the Middle East and parts of Africa and Asia - however with 55% of marriages in the world being arranged- you would be likely to find cases of arranged marriages anywhere you go. There are many different types of arranged marriages which follow all different rules and traditions to ensure it goes smoothly, but none of these allow you to pick the right partner yourself. I intend to put my personal views across, my view that arranged marriages are - and always will be –a violation against human rights. The main formula for life goes something like: have a childhood, get an education, get a job, have children, and grow old. However, many people following that formula tend to do something extreme, involuntary perhaps – fall in love. People in love will want to spend the rest of their life with the person they love, and the most logical way of ensuring this is through marriage. Marriage is a commitment shared between two people, a legal contract binding them together for life. How can people want to partake in such commitment with someone, they hardly know, let alone love? If a marriage is arranged by someone else, then it isn’t based on the grounds of which most marriages take place – love. Call me a romantic, but a marriage without love sounds like a very troublesome, difficult thing. By having your wedding arranged by someone else, this is taking away your free will – and furthermore denying you of the natural emotion of love. This is one of life’s many rare experiences, and I think every human should be guaranteed the free ability to get to know someone, fall in love, and as a result, get married. Through arranged marriage, you are agreeing to commit your life to someone whom you don’t know much about, by doing this, you are choosing to dedicate your whole entire life to a person - who may turn out to be nothing like you expect. Furthermore, not everyone in the world is genuine, and a lot of people would arrange a marriage for their children or someone close to them with their own selfish concerns in mind. In under-developed countries, where lots of people live in poverty, some parents will choose to marry off their children to people of a higher social status – increasing their own honour and wealth, and the happiness of the parents may overshadow the children’s. As much as this could be an easy escape from a hard life – we must consider the effects this could have on the people getting married. Their spouse isn’t being picked to suit them – so without common interest’s etc- there is a poor chance the couple will get on, which will then lead to an unhappy marriage and perhaps a hard life, taking the person in a broken marriage back to square one. Subsequently, arranged marriages can have a massive impact on someone’s life before, during, and after the marriage takes place. Perhaps you may be the unlucky one – and because you don’t truly know the person you are marrying – will be exposed to a variety of problems which may be hard to escape. Some of these problems range from abuse, violence and forced sexual relationships, to name just a few. A case in the media not too long ago bears witness to a twelve year old bride (her wedding arranged) who died after struggling for three days in labour to give birth. This type of marriage is appalling, and disgusting within itself – but exposing girls to this at such a young age is absolutely repulsive and I have no idea how this can be legal. A Nationwide survey in 2005 showed that half of marriages in rural India involved brides younger than 18 – the age of consent. This lifestyle is leaving so many young girls with no real hope for life outside of marriage, with a lot of cases contracting life-threatening diseases such as HIV and aids. Also most of these young girls have to give up their education to enter a lifestyle they are not ready for, leaving them neglected with deprivation of choice. How can they escape this living nightmare? How could their parents be so cruel? However, many people would choose to disagree with me. Especially if you’re brought up in a culture where having your marriage arranged is a common procedure, and this is all you have ever known. Despite the points I made earlier, there may be some parents who want what’s best for their children and providing they are older and wiser, less likely be impulsive in the decisions they make. Also, this may decrease any risk of family problems or struggles. Our family’s opinions matter very dearly to us, and if they are choosing that you marry a specific person, this must mean they approve of them. This means keeping your family, community, culture and tradition happy, whilst bringing two families together as one. Also, we must remember that much of modern day arranged marriages are different from traditional arranged marriages, where the participants have no say at all. Many of the arranged marriages these days allow the couple to have unsupervised dates and get to know one another before the marriage –some aren’t so strict. Even so, many disapproved arranged marriages still take place – through blackmail or worse – and this needs to stop. The divorce rate for arranged marriages is also much lower (around 4-6%, 10 times less than normal marriages) but whether this is due to happy marriages or more to do with the fact that they aren’t allowed to get divorced- remains unseen.
To come to a conclusion, the cons of arranged marriages overweigh the pros by miles for me. I think they are an unnatural disgrace to this life, which we are supposed to be allowed free will in. Marriage is supposed to be based on commitment, love, affection and attraction – this being impossible to achieve without the chance to choose the person you want all this with. “Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry the individual you can’t live without.” – this quote from James C Dobson highlights the purpose of marriage, being not just a chance to live with each other, but a chance to ensure your love is secure for life. People are selfish, it’s a part of our nature – we can’t escape it. Our self-centred nature is the type that means our own purposes come before others, perhaps even our children’s. Making people enter a marriage with the wrong person will leave them feeling suffocated in a relationship that might, not even, make their lives worth living. A case brought into the press has recently brought forward an 8 year old child bride that boldly went by herself to court and demanded a judge to dissolve her marriage to a man in his thirties. If that doesn’t show how disgraceful and sick arranged marriages are, then this earth surely has so sympathy or care for anyone more unfortunate than us. If an 8 year old girl can stand up for herself to defend her rights of marriage, surely the rest of us can at least have the heart to disagree with such a horrific, shameful matter – which is all arranged marriages are. Shelley Bruce, Fraserburgh Academy
Word Count – 1259

Bibliography http://www.indiabix.com/group-discussion/love-marriages-vs-arranged-marriages/ http://www.womensweb.in/articles/love-marriage-vs-arranged-marriage/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/burdens-and-benefits-of-arranged-marriages-0412137 http://www.statisticbrain.com/arranged-marriage-statistics/ http://www.debate.org/opinions/are-arranged-marriages-better-than-marrying-for-love (Un)arranged Marriage - Bali Rai http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/fashion/weddings/parental-involvement-can-help-in-choosing-marriage-partners-experts-say.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 http://www.rljewels.com/home/love-marriage-arrange-marriage.html

Bibliography: http://www.indiabix.com/group-discussion/love-marriages-vs-arranged-marriages/ http://www.womensweb.in/articles/love-marriage-vs-arranged-marriage/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/burdens-and-benefits-of-arranged-marriages-0412137 http://www.statisticbrain.com/arranged-marriage-statistics/ http://www.debate.org/opinions/are-arranged-marriages-better-than-marrying-for-love (Un)arranged Marriage - Bali Rai http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/fashion/weddings/parental-involvement-can-help-in-choosing-marriage-partners-experts-say.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 http://www.rljewels.com/home/love-marriage-arrange-marriage.html

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Powerful Essays

    arranged marriage

    • 3257 Words
    • 11 Pages

    History Arranged marriages were very common throughout the world until the 18th century. Typically, marriages everywhere were arranged by parents, grandparents or other relatives. Some historical exceptions are known, such as courtship and betrothal rituals during Renaissance period of Italy[16] and Gandharva marriages in Vedic period of India. In China, arranged marriages (baoban hunyin, 包辦婚姻) - sometimes called blind marriages (manghun, 盲婚) - were the norm before mid 20th century. A marriage was a…

    • 3257 Words
    • 11 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Arranged Marriages

    • 1243 Words
    • 5 Pages

    Arranged Marriages What is an arranged marriage? Well in the Webster's dictionary it is defined as a marriage where the marital partners are chosen by others based on considerations other than the pre-existing mutual attraction of the partners. This habit has been very common in noble families, especially in reigning ones, at the scope of combining and perhaps enforcing the respective strengths of originary families (and kingdoms) of the spouses. A relevant part of history has been influenced…

    • 1243 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Arranged marriages

    • 463 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Arranged marriages Arranged marriages are often discussed a lot. Some people are against it, and others think it’s the best way to have a marriage. In Islam, it’s common to be born in to an arranged marriage, already when you’re born, your parents had found a partner for you. In some arranged marriages, the bride doesn’t have the rights to refuse the marriage. She has to accept the man, her parents choose for her. In many families, arranged marriages are tradition, and therefore it would be disrespectful…

    • 463 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Arranged Marriage

    • 1122 Words
    • 3 Pages

    My View on Arranged Marriage Theresa Y April 4th,2014 Marriage is one of the largest and most important milestones that an individual may experience. It symbolizes the life-long commitment between two people, unifying them and their families. The saying “first comes love, then comes marriage” describes how the ideal marriage arises from in Western culture, however, it can actually occur the other way around. Arranged marriage is a tradition where parents match their child with a suitable spouse…

    • 1122 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Arranged Marriages

    • 423 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Arranged marriages An arranged marriage is a marriage where the bride and the groom are selected by a third party rather than by each other. This should not be confused with a forced marriage because the both individuals approve with the help of their parents or older members. Arranged marriages were the norm worldwide until the 18th century. In modern times arranged marriage has continued in royal, aristocratic families and ethnic minority groups in developed countries; elsewhere arranged marriage…

    • 423 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Arranged Marriage

    • 2666 Words
    • 11 Pages

    Arranged Marriage A recent article describes some of the benefits and pitfalls to arranged unions. First, parents who favor arranged marriages believe that they are more experienced and objective than their children. They will be able to make better, less impulsive choices regarding a compatible, and often financially supportive mate than their child will. In many cultures, disobeying the arrangement can lead to disownment and exile from the family. But for the children, arranged marriages can cause…

    • 2666 Words
    • 11 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    arranged marriages

    • 912 Words
    • 4 Pages

    TOPIC: Arranged Marriages 1. DRAFT AN INTRODUCTION (4 MARKS) Directions: Attach a rough draft of your introduction with your stage 3. It can be typed formally or written as an outline of the main points you will introduce. Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by each other. It was common worldwide until the 18th century. In modern times, arranged marriage has continued in royal families and ethnic minority…

    • 912 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Arranged Marriage

    • 524 Words
    • 3 Pages

    ARRANGED MARRIAGE Nowadays, arranged marriage has been less practised by this generation, fewer on western countries and lesser on eastern countries. An arranged marriage is a marriage that the choice of husband or wife made by their parents or elders. Many young people think that this practise is a bit outdated while parents think that it is quite suitable. There is one question arises from all side, what is the pros and cons of arranged marriage if it is practised on this era? Parents choosing…

    • 524 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Arranged Marriages

    • 564 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Arranged Marriages Should arranged marriages have a place in our Canadian Society? I do not think arranged marriages should have a place in a Canadian Society or any society because it is wrong and unfair. One of the reasons they should not have a place in our society because your parents will most likely not take y our wishes into account on who they will make you marry. Secondly while your parents are making you marry someone else you could be deeply in love with someone else. Last but not least…

    • 564 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Arranged Marriages

    • 504 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Arranged Marriages Alonzo Wilson There are many factors that play a major role in marriages and lust for one another is one of them. In the essay “Arranged Marriages Get a Little Reshuffling” by Lizette Alvarez a journalist for The New York Times, writes that “Lust does not a lasting marriage make”(156). The author is saying that lust does not last in a relationship, and it is one of the main reasons marriages does not last long either. I agree with this, but lust is one of many other factors…

    • 504 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays