Arranged Marriage vs. Free-choice Marriage Faizan Sadiq

Topics: Marriage, Arranged marriage, Love Pages: 5 (1630 words) Published: December 7, 2008
Arranged Marriage vs. Free-choice Marriage"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry" (Tom Mullen, 2005, p.1). It is argued that free-choice marriages based on love or romance, offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages where the man and woman are chosen by the parents and so there is pressure and is not so suitable and independent. However, no marriage is necessarily an ideal sort of marriage. Therefore, it becomes difficult to predict the ideal sort of marriage. The decision is upon the individual, whether he or she wants to be part of an arrange or free-choice marriage. There are two main types of marriages that are practiced in various societies and cultures and they are: arranged marriages and free-choice marriages. Both type of marriages have benefits and particular expectations for the man and woman. Research shows that the type of marriage chosen often reflects a person's values, traditions, beliefs, and cultural customs. Both arranged and free-choice marriages have similarities and differences.

An arranged marriage is an union between two prospective spouses chosen by the parents and sometimes between the extended family. In most cases of arranged marriages the two partners can have a say in it after several meetings with one another or even just once. However, in some cases the parents make the final decision and do not let the daughter or son have a say in it after that. This is explained well in Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, "Arranged marriages can also be very flexible. In one scenario, the parents introduce their son or daughter to several potential mates, while giving two the final decision, given sometime" (2005). The relationship in an arranged marriage starts off from not knowing each other and or no feelings, and as time moves on, the love is built on together as the partners get to know each other more and spend more time together. The partners learn to love each other and in many cases the partners are more conservative and it takes longer for them to develop a bond. Unlike love or romantic marriages, arranged marriages have learned to love.

Even after taking these facts in consideration, arranged marriages are being practiced all over the world. However, it depends on different cultures around the world. If research is done, arranged marriages would be most likely be happening in parts of Africa, most of Asia, and a good portion of Eastern Europe. Knowing where arranged are being practiced, it is also important to know that arranged marriages are practiced when the two partners are chosen by others for some specific reasons or due to the person's traditions, beliefs, and culture. When deciding an arranged marriage, special requirements need to be fulfilled from both sides of the couple. Therefore, these requirements should be acceptable from both the parents and the couple. For example, in some cases, women get the opportunity to work and some are usually forced to be stay-at-home moms. Also sometimes the two partners have to be the same nationality, have the same beliefs, belong in the same culture and etcetera. "The importance of good family background and compatibility as far as upbringing and family is concerned are vital for two individuals entering into a relationship" (Alochona, 2004, p.1).

However, most people believe that there is a low rate of divorce. If the two people do not know much about each other, it would be better for their marriage because they will find out new and interesting facts about each other during the time they spend together after marriage. As in free-choice, also called love or romance marriages, both partners know each other from before and do not have much left to find out or maybe in some cases, a number of new things can be found between couples. So, it is more likely to get bored of the marriage life if that is the case and it could lead up to divorce. In different...


References: ugust, P. (2005, October). Arranged Marriages in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriageBowman, H. & Spanier, G. (1978). Modern Marriage. McGraw-Hill Book Company.
Mullen, T. (2005). Love Marriages. iloveindia.
http://weddings.iloveindia.comNighat, S. (2005) personal Interview. 7 December.
O 'Neil, N. & O 'Neil, G. (1973, February). Open Marriage. Dushkin Publishing Company Group Inc.
Sabreen, F. (2005, May). Arranged versus Love Marriage. The New Nationhttp://nation.ittefaq.com/artman/exec/view.cgi/30/18526
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