Antonio's Search For Identity In Bless Me, Ultima

In Bless Me, Ultima, Antonio leaves his childhood behind and seeks to reconcile his conflicting cultural and religious identities. Although Antonio is only six years old at the start of the narrative, he already possesses a keenly questioning mind, a great deal of moral curiosity, and a solemn appreciation for the seriousness of life. Some of his traits are typical of children his age, such as his anxiety at leaving his mother to start school. In other ways, Antonio is extraordinary. He is much more serious than other children, particularly compared to his rowdy and vulgar group of young friends. He is also acutely sensitive to his ambiguous place in the world, as he is trapped between two competing cultural visions. His father is a vaquero who wants Antonio to ride the llano and appreciate the open prairie; his mother is a daughter of farmers who wants Antonio to become a priest. Antonio is deeply troubled about his own uncertain destiny, but Ultima, a folk healer, guides him in his efforts to understand the world.
He becomes unsure for the first time about the validity of the Catholic faith. His intense desire to know the truth, one of the major components of his character, leads him into a spiral of questioning and uncertainty regarding sin, innocence, death, the afterlife, forgiveness, and the nature of God. For the rest of the novel, Antonio develops from childhood to maturity, as Ultima teaches him to make his own moral choices, to live in harmony with nature, to draw from all the traditions available to him, and to refrain from judging others when their beliefs differ from his