And We Walked Right Through the Door
Craig T. Bailey
Nick Schwartz
ENGL 101-001
16 June 2013
… And We Walk Right Through The Door
"Anything I can help you find?" inquired the chubby female clerk wearing a cheesy red uniform vest complete with "Hi! My name is Amy, How can I assist you?" BS name-tag. Right away I recognize this this to be the limited dialog that clerks are required to resort to when they feel certain shoppers are suspicious, to remind them they're being watched I suppose. I replied smiling, "No, my buddy's in the bathroom, just looking around thanks." the act starting to make me a bit queasy. "Alright then" she creaked, an undertone of distrust. From there I'm left to my own devices, or so they would like me to think. However I know otherwise as I'm using the very same tools that insurance managers and loss prevention employ - namely strategically placed fisheye thief catching mirrors - to keep an eye on the store walker who, after that terse conversation, started following me. Interacting with people who have an inkling that I'm up to no good while cradling nearly $150 worth of stolen goods in my coat, (just under the federal limit mind you) brought on strong feelings of sickness mixed with a rush of adrenaline... maybe I was getting too old for this shit. After skirting my tail, I head for the back entrance which has posted up what looked to be a normal run of the mill alarm system. However having worked this place over several times before, I knew that this was simply cosmetic and no longer functioned properly. My best guess is the store was too broke to repair it, in part due to klepto jack-asses like me and my crew. Most likely they allowed this skeleton of a system to stay standing in hopes that it would deter those that didn't know any better. In fact most of the security equipment in this place was for show. From the dozens of shaded domes mounted in the ceilings where maybe one quarter of them actually held security cameras, to the magnetic tags - or bugs as we coded
Nick Schwartz
ENGL 101-001
16 June 2013
… And We Walk Right Through The Door
"Anything I can help you find?" inquired the chubby female clerk wearing a cheesy red uniform vest complete with "Hi! My name is Amy, How can I assist you?" BS name-tag. Right away I recognize this this to be the limited dialog that clerks are required to resort to when they feel certain shoppers are suspicious, to remind them they're being watched I suppose. I replied smiling, "No, my buddy's in the bathroom, just looking around thanks." the act starting to make me a bit queasy. "Alright then" she creaked, an undertone of distrust. From there I'm left to my own devices, or so they would like me to think. However I know otherwise as I'm using the very same tools that insurance managers and loss prevention employ - namely strategically placed fisheye thief catching mirrors - to keep an eye on the store walker who, after that terse conversation, started following me. Interacting with people who have an inkling that I'm up to no good while cradling nearly $150 worth of stolen goods in my coat, (just under the federal limit mind you) brought on strong feelings of sickness mixed with a rush of adrenaline... maybe I was getting too old for this shit. After skirting my tail, I head for the back entrance which has posted up what looked to be a normal run of the mill alarm system. However having worked this place over several times before, I knew that this was simply cosmetic and no longer functioned properly. My best guess is the store was too broke to repair it, in part due to klepto jack-asses like me and my crew. Most likely they allowed this skeleton of a system to stay standing in hopes that it would deter those that didn't know any better. In fact most of the security equipment in this place was for show. From the dozens of shaded domes mounted in the ceilings where maybe one quarter of them actually held security cameras, to the magnetic tags - or bugs as we coded