Analysis: The Controversy Of Domestic Violence

The Controversy of Domestic Violence
Marc Henry Saad
Lebanese American University
Presented to Dr. Nabila Ataya

Every man on Earth has been given birth by a woman, his mother. The most important someone in a man’s life is his mother; he idealizes her and learns from her. Therefore a man must cherish every woman and respect her because in fact, if it wasn’t for a woman, none of us would have been here. Another hugely important woman in a man’s life is his wife. Mothers and wives coexist in a man’s “favorite woman” title. However, unfortunately in Arab societies women are constantly violated by man. Instead of admiring women for all they have given him, men in Arab societies abuse women for individual and societal factors. Studies
However, men who abuse their women blame it on factors that have loaded them with bad thoughts waiting to be fired at their women. Surprisingly, there are more than just individual factors that the man himself has experienced, sometimes societal and community factors come into play. To start with, the simplest and more obvious factor, the individual factor i.e. experiencing or even witnessing violence as a child. “Children who are subject to violence come to engage in violence in their later marital relationships because they acquire certain attitudes which facilitate violence” (Markowitz, 2001, p.215). Hence if a child witnesses his father violating his mother he will grow to learn that this is how women should be treated and if that is how my father treated my mother then it’s the right way. This shows that women abuse is somehow “genetic” or “contagious” and that violence will lead to more violence into man’s unconsciousness in a way that it becomes a habit. Studies illustrate that this factor has a greater effect on men than women, this shows how big of a factor this is against women. Along with individual factors, depending on man’s social life and the community he lives in might help shape man’s violence against women. Men’s peer and social relations can have a vital influence on how they treat their wives. Being in male peer groups may lead to men relying more and more on
This can also be attributed to the ongoing belief that her children’s safety and her family’s reputation are much more important than her own well-being. All of this falls under what is known as the conspiracy of silence. This is the true dilemma that Arab women fall into, whether to protect her own safety or the family’s as a whole. Surprisingly, several religious books state a man must cherish his woman and more specifically when the couple divorces. In the Koran for example it is stated “when you divorce a woman retain her in kindness” (Koran 2:231). In addition, according to the Prophet, “the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Koran 9:288). Unfortunately, most Arab men misinterpret such sayings and twist them to their own sense of reasoning. In these countries, women are not treated according to their God-given rights. They are not free, they are not protected, they are not respected, etc. something must be done soon even though trying to change a man’s perspective on women takes ages, what must be done in the meantime is that the authorities should implement laws that sanction any man who doesn’t follow them. These laws must be made very clear and straight to the point, NO man may ever, under any circumstance, beat his