an unexpected suprise

An Unexpected Surprise Even though I come from a big family, I always thought of myself as an only child. My next closest sibling is 8 years older than me. You could say I was an unexpected surprise…the eighth of eight children. When I was a kid, my life was pretty ordinary, or so I thought. Nothing interesting ever happened. I spent each day trying to keep up with my brothers and sisters. Of course they were all in school and that is what I wanted, to be in school just like them. It was a happy day when I got to begin kindergarten with my brother and sister in the older grades.
My eldest siblings had moved on and out of our home. Justin was married and living in Utah, and both Tammie and Tyler were on missions. My sister Katy was living with my grandmother so she could attend a different school. There were just three of the eight of us left. Our house was so empty that we all lived downstairs, and the upstairs was empty. Then, life would never be the same again. When I was just getting used to kindergarten, my mom changed our whole family. That day will always be a turning point in our family.
A week before Christmas a woman showed up at our door with three kids. I went out to see what the commotion was all about, wondering if someone brought something for me? Of course I was hoping for toys, but that’s not what I got! She introduced herself as a social worker and brought in three kids – Felipe, who was 15, he was a big boy, and the same age as my older brother Spencer, his Sister Shannon, who was 13, had very long black hair, and was very quiet, and Shelby, just a little older than me, and dressed kind of like a boy. When I asked my mom who they were, she told me that they were going to be living with us. After she told me, I was not sure what to think. She noticed my confused look. Then she elaborated by saying, “These are some kids in our Branch who have been put in different foster homes, and our Branch President asked if we could let them live with us for a while so they could be together.” I thought to myself, this is going to be interesting. My mom and I showed them around the house, then she took them to their rooms. That night, I had a lot on my mind, and did not sleep at all. The next morning was awkward. No one knew how to act around each other. Everyone just sat down and was silent. This continued for about a week. I was not sure whether I was going to like having them there or not. My first thought was that I was finally going to have someone around my age to play with. Then it dawned on me, I was going to have to share everything I owned, not only my house, but also my parents. As a kid, I was extremely selfish. My whole life, until then, I had been accustomed to having all my parents’ love and time to myself. I knew that it was going to take a lot of work to get used to it. Then, just a week later, that same social worker came back and added two more boys to our household. I heard my mom say that we had the room, so why not! Now, these boys were closer to my age. Cadio was eight, and he was a big kid, with dark curly hair. The older boy was his blond brother Nick; he was nine and pretty shy. After a few weeks went by, they started to become more active in our family. Our large house was full again. I still was not too happy about them being there. Even though I was not happy, I made it seem like I was enjoying myself. I tried to make them feel welcomed. As the days went by, it was not getting any easier to get used to them staying; even though, they were acting more like part of the family. Mom incorporated them into our activities and chores, and they began participating more and more. With all of these changes, one thing did not change. I was still the baby. In time, things started to feel alright around them. I attempted to include them in the games I played. I thought, for the first time since they arrived, that things might actually work out. It was good for a few weeks, but then it changed when they started to make fun of me. Teasing me for being what I was – the baby! It was heart breaking. I finally opened up to them, and they were making fun of me. I did not understand why someone would do that. I never told my mom. We had been planning a family trip to Nauvoo and we were able to get last minute tickets, so the foster children were all able to go with us. The social worker said we did not have to take them, but my mom insisted that if they were to be part of our family, even for just a short time, they would go on vacation with us. My grandmother and two cousins came too, there were 14 of us altogether. I think it was the first time any of them had gone on a vacation or flown on a plane.
We had a good time. We rented a huge white van so we could all go everywhere together. I remember riding horses and walking around the brand new temple. We were making family memories with our new family. We rented an entire house for the vacation; we went and saw a lot of things. One unforgettable memory was when, Felipe was sleepwalking one night and actually fell out of the second story bedroom window. He landed in the bushes and wasn’t hurt bad. We laughed a lot. That was the first of many vacations that we enjoyed together. Somewhere over the years, my mom found out that Nick and Cadio had three other siblings. Of course mom brought them into our family. The difference was that Cole was younger than me, and I became a big brother for the first time. Cole was very small, and had dark curly hair like Cadio. Alyssa was ten months older than me, but we were in the same grade at school. Alyssa actually looks like she could be my real sister. She has blue eyes and brown hair just like me. Sometimes people asked if we are twins. The eldest was Anthony. He was a trouble maker. My family tried, but after a year, he decided he could not live by my parents’ rules and he left. A year later Nick made the same decision and left our family. My mom was so sad. But, things started to get better and everyone was happy again. Not long after that, we went to court and legally adopted Shelby, Cadio, Alyssa, and Cole. Felipe and Shannon did not want to be adopted because they were older and were already their own legal guardians. The adoption was followed by a trip to the Oakland temple where all of my brothers and sisters came, and Shelby, Cadio, Alyssa, and Cole were sealed to us for eternity.
I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if we never decided to adopt those kids so many years ago. I think of all the lessons I have learned from, not only their presence, but their examples. The friendships and how close we have all become over the years. What if we had not taken them in and made them a part of our family? I would have remained an only child and would have been lonely. Family is not just being of the same blood. It is a bond between us that makes us want to be together and make each other better.
I gained some important attributes because of this experience. I learned to be patient and found I could learn to love others. Those qualities have helped me become more Christ-like. I would not be the same without my brothers and sisters and I definitely wouldn’t be happier without them. I am grateful for the blessings they have brought to our family.