Act Of kindness

3e I am going to recount all the stressors in the following incidents to my best recollection I am having a hard time concentrating to do this and feel very irritable and stressed out. I know I need to write it down and even feel more weak because I am having issues with my life and how I have handled things. I feel I am a substandard soldier for not being strong enough to handle myself.

I was deployed to Shank Afghanistan In June of 2010 and was there until feb 2011. The first night In shank some enemy fighters broke through our gate and we were under fire. Several soldiers were wounded and one bled out. He had crawled into a bunker and it was dark When they found him it was too late. There were rockets going off everywhere as they fired on our base. It wasnt a huge base so you could hear screams and yells a lot from wounded guys a lot. They would call for a type of blood on emergency to save a life. I was assigned to the avaition unit and I was crew chief and we were doing air assaults with chinook helicopters where we were working directly with seals outside the wire inserting them every night on missions for high profile targets. I felt in danger everyday from rocket attacks and often would have to hide in bunkers until the rocket attacks stopped.

One night two navy seals were killed on a mission outside the wire. One was hit in his breast plate and the bullet penetrated and he died shortly the other hit in the shoulder and bled out and lived a little longer. We were taking fire on this mission and returned to base immediately to save these lives. I can remember having to take up floor panels to clean up the bood. That night in my room I cried a lot knowing these guys family didnt even know they were dead and I did. Just hours before they were alive and the shock of there deaths affected me. I had never been this close to war where I was in direct contact with the enemy on a daily basis and feared for my life daily. I couldnt sleep. I just layed