Academic Writing Analysis Example
The essay aims to persuade the audience (i.e. tutor) against human cloning and
expresses the author’s lack of competency in presenting his arguments. Based on the channel
chosen to convey his message, the essay is, to a large extent, an ineffective piece of academic
writing upon evaluation of its content, language and organization of arguments. This essay
critique analyses and evaluates the above points.
One of the essay problems includes the poorly developed thesis statement at the end
of the 1st paragraph. The thesis statement did not provide a prelude of the specific arguments
that are in the essay. Instead, the two points presented in the thesis, which are the high risks
and costs involved in human cloning, were not substantiated and elaborated on in his essay.
Content wise, the essay presents several weak claims and supporting details indicating
a failed attempt at utilizing a Toulmin-Warrant model. While the author may have included
his own insights, his arguments are generally weakly substantiated as a result of the lack of
evidences, examples and citations. In paragraph 7 for instance, the writer made an attempt to
incorporate surveys but the lack of citations and proper statistics makes it a weak claim.
Another example occurred in paragraph 4. The author used Adolf Hitler as a case
study; however, he failed to relate his example to the topic of human cloning. The supporting
detail here was poorly developed. Moreover, the argument is a weak claim because it
is substantiated by the author’s assumptions only. As a result, the argument appears
unconvincing to readers.
Irrelevant sentences are found throughout the essay that might result in noise that
decreases accuracy in getting the main idea across. Sentence 4 in paragraph 2, “..Would
probably benefit from human cloning”, contradicts the argument that human cloning will
damage balance of nature and exceed the world’s carrying capacity, which
expresses the author’s lack of competency in presenting his arguments. Based on the channel
chosen to convey his message, the essay is, to a large extent, an ineffective piece of academic
writing upon evaluation of its content, language and organization of arguments. This essay
critique analyses and evaluates the above points.
One of the essay problems includes the poorly developed thesis statement at the end
of the 1st paragraph. The thesis statement did not provide a prelude of the specific arguments
that are in the essay. Instead, the two points presented in the thesis, which are the high risks
and costs involved in human cloning, were not substantiated and elaborated on in his essay.
Content wise, the essay presents several weak claims and supporting details indicating
a failed attempt at utilizing a Toulmin-Warrant model. While the author may have included
his own insights, his arguments are generally weakly substantiated as a result of the lack of
evidences, examples and citations. In paragraph 7 for instance, the writer made an attempt to
incorporate surveys but the lack of citations and proper statistics makes it a weak claim.
Another example occurred in paragraph 4. The author used Adolf Hitler as a case
study; however, he failed to relate his example to the topic of human cloning. The supporting
detail here was poorly developed. Moreover, the argument is a weak claim because it
is substantiated by the author’s assumptions only. As a result, the argument appears
unconvincing to readers.
Irrelevant sentences are found throughout the essay that might result in noise that
decreases accuracy in getting the main idea across. Sentence 4 in paragraph 2, “..Would
probably benefit from human cloning”, contradicts the argument that human cloning will
damage balance of nature and exceed the world’s carrying capacity, which