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absence of a loved one

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Absence Of A Loved One Do you know how it feels to lose a loved one? Its an aching pain, that takes time to drift away. We ask why they had to go away trying to understand why it all happened. Losing a loved one is like having the rug swept from under you. We go about our day just like any other day, and we don’t think how anything can be taken away in a blink of an eye. I never thought about the subject of losing a loved one, until I forced dreadful news, and the unbelievable truth of my cousins terminal illness. The event never goes away you just are left with emptiness in your heart trying to deal with the loss. Dealing with the loss can be harder than you think. It can take days, weeks, and maybe even months. It kind of depends on how well you knew that person. Some people try to help you but some can’t cause some of them haven’t been in this situation with a loved one. Like me I have never been in this situation until the dreadful news happened. I could still feel the fresh air of winter. As my dad and brother went out to get something to eat I stayed home with my little brother watching television. As I remember as it was yesterday my mom wasn’t home because she had to work that day. After half an hour have passed my brother and dad came home. I could smell and almost taste taste the tacos that my dad brought home. I opened them up and tasted them. It tasted like heaven in a piece of tortilla. After finishing the tacos I went to my room. I finished my homework because it was a Sunday. After finishing my homework I took a quick shower put on my pajamas brushed my teeth and went to bed. It took a while to fall asleep because I felt like something bad happened to someone in my family. That morning I still felt the same. I felt like something bad happened that day. I was right my mom was talking to one of my aunts on the phone. I saw my mom crying but at those moments I didn’t know what was going on. I remembered thinking the same thoughts that I thought when I was going to sleep last night. I didn’t ask her anything because it had to be something heartbreaking for her to cry. I have seen her cry before but this time it was like something horrible happened. Her eyes were so red from all the crying that she didn't even wanna look at me. She looked down or side to side. When she did look at me I felt like he was hiding the things that my aunt told her in the phone. The next day was windy but not that cold. I remember getting ready for school and thinking to myself about what my mom didn’t want to tell me. Thinking bad things the whole day, school was finally over. The school day was like eight hours it felt like a million. When I got home I was waiting until my dad came home for I could ask him if something bad happened. I couldn’t ask my mom because she wasn’t home she had to work that day too. I asked him but at first he didn’t get what I was saying so I asked him again. I asked him what where my aunt and mom talking about over the phone. He told me that my little cousin from Los Angeles got sick. At first I thought it was not a big deal because everyone gets sick from the cold or something, but it was just not any sick. She had a brain tumor and it was too late to do anything because the tumor was the size of a rock. My aunt didn't even notice anything different from her. The doctor said that five of those millions of kids are born with brain cancer. Those moments were the worst because I couldn’t believe anything I felt like I was in a long dream that didn’t want to end. After my dad told me everything I felt depressed, but I kept on asking how was she when ever I had a chance to. Just thinking everyday how she was in the hospital. Couldn’t even do anything to help her. Later on that night after being told the dreadful news, I layed in bed clenching my fists, tightening my jaw, trying not to let my watery eyes drip like the leaky faucet old houses have in there kitchen. The next few days where mostly the same she was getting worse and worse every hour of the day. In those days we went to go see her in Los Angeles. It hurt so much just seeing her like that. I remember myself standing there just not wanting to go inside to see her because the tumor was taking hr life away little by little. Just laying in the bed everyday, couldn’t even eat no more, and she stopped talking. When we were there my aunt told me that when she was talking she kept on asking for me. At that moment I turned around and tried not to cry but my tears won me. We went back to the house got some sleep and the next day we said goodbye to everyone. We went to my mom’s friends house said bye to them too. It was Sunday afternoon when we headed back home. Weeks passed since we went to go visit her. She got better but at the end the tumor won her and at the end she gave up. My brother had to tell me because my dad couldn’t. So when my brother told me that she passed away I just wished that she never got sick in the first place. Like I started to remember what my dad told me what the doctor said and I started to get mad at god because out of those millions of kids that were born he picked my cousin. At the end I knew that she was in a better place. All the suffering that she went through was all over. Three to five days passed and my mom started to ask me if I wanted to go to the funeral. I told her I didn’t want to because it was very heartbreaking for me to see her like that. My older brother and my mom went to the funeral instead. Me, my dad, and my little brother stayed home. My couldn’t go cause those days e had to go work. When my brother came back home he told me everything that happened. He told me it was mostly like a funeral. I don’t know how a funeral was because I have never been to one. He told me mostly everyone was devastated. They were mostly trying to help my aunt and uncle. I understand why I would want to help my cousin if I was there, but I don’t think I would know how to. Probably I’ll just try to get his mind off of things. When I went to go visit them I saw my uncle heartbroken. I have never seen him like that before, but I got why he was sad it was his little girl. My aunt took it pretty hard but she got used to the idea that my cousin had a tumor. I don’t think my uncle got to used to the idea until she passed away. My brother told me that my cousin Carlos didn’t cry. He kept it bottled up I guess. Sometimes when he comes over to visit us, I sometimes ask him if he misses her. You could tell he does cause when I talk about her he gets sad. His younger brother was devastated, I don’t think he got what happened but he got that it happened for a reason. I don't think he got what was happening because he was mostly with his grandma and because hes just eleven years old. I think mostly everything happens for a reason. My aunt and uncle are very good people but that’s what god wanted in there future. When my cousin passed away, my aunt came to visit the whole family We had a small gathering and my mom, my aunt, and my uncle were sitting in the ouch just talking about my little cousin. I saw them three crying together. I have never seen them that close before. When she passed away I felt like she put the whole family closer. At this day on I will keep visiting her. I will never let anyone forget about her but i don’t think they will because she was just a little girl that h It was a tragic thing but one thing that was good was that god gave my uncle and aunt another try to have a new baby. At first you’re like why couldn't this happen to me, but in the end you know they are in a better place. Nobody knows when something special can be taken away from you in a blink of an eye. Nobody can see that coming. Everyone is just minding their day until someone or something bad happened and messes there day or their whole week. Everyone asks why they had to go away but mostly nobody knows. The other thing is when everyone tries to understand why it all happened. Some people like friends, family members, or anyone try to help you but some can’t because some of them haven’t had someone pass away. Mostly nobody knows how it feels to lose a loved one until it happens to you, but some people get a second chance just like my aunt and uncle has.

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