Soc 204 Notes

Topics: Marriage, Family, Divorce Pages: 20 (3979 words) Published: June 18, 2013
Marriage
• We learn by “on-the-job training,” in which being married, allows you to learn about being married • Honeymoon
o Egypt
▪ The honeymoon is defined as a brief period of time in which things were beautiful, but it lasted no longer than a month o Meanings:
▪ A trip that many couples take after the wedding ← Rapoport [husband & wife] described three different types of honeymoons: • Lovers’ Nest – during the honeymoon, the couple was completely absorbed into themselves, as a couple • Perpetuum Mobile – during the honeymoon, the couple travelled a lot • Vacation Honeymoon – during the honeymoon, the couple would try to rest from all the planning [of the wedding] that preceded their honeymoon ▪ The early part of marriage [“honeymoon period”] ← A period of unusually good rapport, good relationship between the partners ← The warm, positive feelings during the good relationship allows either partner to make changes, without [or with less] difficulty o Advantage:

▪ Alone time with your new spouse
o Disadvantage:
▪ Costly
▪ Most people see the honeymoon as more advantageous than disadvantageous and go on a honeymoon o Stages:
▪ Happy Honeymoon
▪ A period of unusually good rapport, having fun, enjoying both the relationship & life ▪ Disillusionment & Regret
▪ Partners begin to learn things about one another that they may not particularly like or have realized ▪ Partners realize that they are two different people, which may lead to conflict or difficulty, leading either partner to potentially consider future regret ▪ Accommodation

▪ Most couples enter this stage
▪ Accommodate differences as each partner realizes that neither he/she nor his/her partner is perfect ▪ Coming to grips with reality, but something brought you together & will hopefully keep you two together o Developmental tasks:

▪ At certain points/ stages in our lives, we are expected to be able to do certain things ▪ As a couple, you’re expected to:
← Realigning Loyalties
• The people most important to you should now be first – your spouse, and next – your children • You don’t give up your family & friends, but your family of procreation comes first, which takes getting used to ← Agreeing Upon Domestic & Child Rearing Responsibilities • Agree upon who does what, so that it is mutual satisfactory & mutually agreed upon ← Agreeing Upon Emotional, Sexual Relationship • The key is not the form, but the mutually agreed upon & mutually satisfactory relationship ← Reaffirming Your Identity as a Couple • You do things together; if you do not do things together, it’s agreed upon o Changes:

▪ Reduction in thrill-seeking activities ← Tends to reduce because your life becomes much more centered about the relationship & residence ← You become more home-oriented

▪ Subtle difference in your relationship with others ▪ Vocabulary change
← You begin to speak about family more o Gagnon & Greenblat ( Models of Family:
▪ Unit of Emotional Satisfaction
← The family should be a source of happiness and a haven from...
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