Conflict is a natural part of life. Fortunately, conflicts can be managed and resolved constructively. If handled well, parties in dispute may find opportunities to improve their relationship and grow from the conflict experience. Resolving conflicts constructively is a skill that can be taught and learned. If the people are trained how to handle their interpersonal’ conflicts positively, such skills may be carried on to higher levels of human interaction. Conflict is from the Latin word conflictus which means striking together with force. It occurs when one’s actions or beliefs are unacceptable to and resisted by the other. Conflicts occur in dyads, groups or larger societal structures.
What is anger?
* It is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. * Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. * But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.
Ways to change the form of anger:
* Recognize that you are angry.
* Distance yourself from the situation.
* Release anger physically in indirect forms.
* Use relaxation techniques
* Calm your mind – talk to yourself.
* Apply therapeutic techniques
* Turn to spiritual support.
* Use social support.
* Redirect energy.
* Cry it out.
How do we Directly Express Our Anger?
* Describe the behavior that angers you.
* Describe how you feel about the behavior.
* Describe the reason for your feeling.
How Do We Deal with Other People’s Anger?
* Allow expression. Listen
* Do not counter-attack
* Stand in the shoe of the other
* Help him/her to calm down
* Explain your situation
* Look into options together
* If you can’t deal with the other person’s wrath, ask for help
- Johnson and Johnson(1995) & FSR Associates
Options in Dealing with Conflicts
1. Avoidance or withdrawal
- normally chosen when the issue is trivial or when the person in conflict believes that s/he has no power to change the situation. 2. Aggression
- a party takes this option when s/he considers the issue important and will use power to achieve his/her goals. 3. Accommodation
- a party gives up or gives in. This option taken when the goal is to preserve harmony in the relationship. - is also taken when the other party recognizes the validity of the other’s viewpoint. 4. Compromise
- when both parties cannot get what they want fully and are willing to give up part of their goals they usually meet in the middle. 5. Collaboration/Collaborative problem-solving
- this option is taken when both issue and relationship are important to the parties; hence, a mutually acceptable solution is sought.
Steps in the Collaborative Solving Approach
1. Story Telling
3. Thinking Up
Tips to a Good Dialogue
* Speak in a gentle, non-threatening manner.
* Think carefully of what you are going to say. Do not make the situation worse by angering the other person. * Use the “I” message.
* Admit your own responsibility to the conflict.
* Avoid using hazy statements and global words such as “always” and “never”. Be specific as possible.
* the act or process of mediating between parties, as to effect an agreement or reconciliation.
- the act of intervening for the purpose of bringing about a settlement
Ways to help create atmosphere of love and acceptance:
* Declare your classroom a zone of peace and establish rules to achieve it. * As the teacher, let peace begin with you.
* Affirm your students.
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