Managing Conflict in Relationships
Bracketing- Noting that an issue arising
in the course of a conflict should be
Contracting- Building a solution through
negotiation and the acceptance of parts
Exit Response- Physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing Games- Highly patterned interactions in
which real conflict is hidden or denied
Grace- Granting forgiveness or putting
aside our own needs when there is no
standard that says we should or must do so
Kitchen-Sinking- In which everything except th
the kitchen sink is thrown into
Lose-Lose- Assumes that conflict results in losses for everyone & that it is unhealthy & destructive to relationships Loyalty Response-
Meta-Communication-Used by couples in both productive & non-productive ways Neglect Response- Denies or minimizes problems, disagreements, anger, tension, or other matters that could lead to overt conflict Passive Aggression- Act aggressively while denying feeling or acting aggressively Voice Response- Addresses conflict directly and attempts to resolve it Win-Lose- Assume that one person wins at the expense of the other Win-Win- Assume that there are ways to resolve differences so that everyone gains
When people in ‘I-You’ or ‘I-Thou’ relationships have different views, interests, or goals and feel a need to resolve those differences. A.
Conflict must be recognized and/or expressed.
All parties involved in the conflict must depend upon each other. C.
Conflict arises when we perceive that there are incompatible goals, preferences, or decisions that must be resolved to maintain the relationship. II.
There are basic principles of conflict.
Conflict is Natural in Relationships
When people matter to or affect each other , disagreements are unavoidable. Conflict is not an inducation of an unhealthy relationship. It is good b/c it reminds us that a strong connection underlines even a disagreement. As conflict is unavoidable:; we should develop constructive ways to deal. B.
Conflict May Be Expressed Overly or Covertly
Overt is out in the open & explicit; deal in direct straightforward manner •
Covert are expressed indirectly
Punishes another person without accepting responsibility for the punishment. It undercuts the possibility of honest healthy relationships 2.
Often happens when people express their feelings about disagreements indirectly. Deliberately doing something to hurt or upset another. Expressing anger indirectly means the conflict is covert C.
Social Groups Shape the Meaning of Conflict Behavior
Cultural membership & socialization in particular social communities affect how we view and respond to conflict. D.
Conflict Can Be Managed Well or Poorly
Range from physical attack to verbal aggression to collaborative problem solving. Each message may resolve differences. Some methods are preferrable to others. One main reason conflict is poorly handles is that it often involves intense feelings which man people don’t know how to identify or express
Conflict Can Be Good For Individuals & Relationships Though it tends to be thought of as negative, conflict is beneficial in a number of ways. When managed properly, helps us grow as individuals, deepen our insight into our ideas & feelings, allows us to see POV’s other than our own, enhances relationships & deepens understanding of eachother III.
There are three basic orientations people have toward conflict. A.
lose-lose approach Conflict results in losses for everyone; unhealthy & destructive to realtioships. Lose-lose assumes the conflict is inevitably negative. People who adopt it try to avoid conflict at all costs
This approach works well when we are trying to figure out if we need to engage in conflict, especially if the issue is less important than others. B.
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