There is a lot more all of us can do to help disengage our rape culture beyond not raping someone else. Since again, most men won’t rape, these “extras” are the things most of us need to work on.
This article is not meant exclusively for men; women too should read it and help propagate it.
For instance, people will often report that they know or have known that someone else — even people very close to them — are or have been raping or abusing another and that they have never said anything, to that person or to anyone else. Plenty of people have had an experience where they strongly suspected someone or known someone was raping someone else and they had remained silent and passive. Silence on anyone’s part when it comes to rape never helps and always does harm.
It’s one thing when people avoid doing anything in those situations out of a real concern for their own personal safety, but in nearly any situation like this, there is always a way to help. If you find yourself in this situation and are fearful for your own safety when it comes to saying or doing something, call the police anonymously, a hotline, or go get someone else to come help with you. Some people feel like it’s disloyal to report a friend, partner or family member who is raping or abusing, but your loyalty is never more important than someone else’s life or keeping another person from incredible trauma. Even if you can’t see it that way, at the very least recognize that rapists and abusers are troubled and are often unlikely to stop, and far more unlikely if they are never held responsible. Helping a friend stay disturbed and aiding them in doing harm through your inaction isn’t helping your friend.
We can also all get better at calling out acceptance or even applause for any kind of rape when we see it. For instance, a friend joking about rape or sexual violence isn’t being funny: he’s perpetuating rape culture. If you laugh right along with him –