Biblical Guidelines for Marital Conflict Prevention and Resolution
MCAL 603: Family Life Issues
Student: Osley Edwards
Facilitator: Dr. Abner Dizon
Date:
Biblical Guidelines for Marital Conflict Prevention and Resolution
Buehler, Krishnakumar, Stone, Anthony, Pemberton, Gerard and Barber (1998) define marital conflict as the existence of high levels of disagreement, stressful and hostile interactions between spouses, disrespect, and verbal abuse, while Cummings (1998) interprets it as “any major or minor interpersonal interaction that involved a difference of opinion, whether it was mostly negative or even mostly positive.” (P.6). from these two variant definitions we can conclude …show more content…
Children are among the most severely affected by ongoing marital conflicts. Cummings and Davies (1994) researched some of these effects and found that exposure to repeated instances of destructive marital conflict has been linked with internalizing problems such as depression and low self-esteem, externalizing problems such as delinquency and aggression, and declines in academic performance, social and interpersonal adjustment, and general mental health.
Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in every close relationship, including marital relationship. While every marriage relationship is as unique as the individuals it contains, some degree of conflict is actually necessary to keep a marriage dynamic rather than static (Ashford, LeCroy and Lortie: 2006).
Rainey (2002) posits an interesting idea that since every marriage has its tensions; it isn’t a question of avoiding them but of how you deal with them. Conflict can lead to a process that develops oneness or isolation. You and your spouse must choose how you will act when conflict …show more content…
In the marriage vows they have promised to be as one, the wife covenanting to love and obey her husband, the husband promising to love and cherish his wife. (White, 1972: 106).
This view is shared in this research as celebrating the differences of the couple. This research shows it is important to understand those differences while Mayer (n.d.) suggests that these differences can cause conflict but also bring the greatest joy in marriage.
Mrs. White also commented on the principle of avoiding divorce as an option when dealing with conflict. She states, “This vow links the destinies of the two individuals with bonds which naught but the hand of death should sever.”Testimonies For The Church 4, 507. (White, 1972: 340). She also attributes the issue of divorce to the hardness of the hearts of one or both involved in the conflict. She quotes the statement of Jesus in response to the Pharisees. They asked about the reason for divorce in a culture where they were very flagrant and callous with the issues and Jesus responded by saying it is because of “the hardness of your hearts.” (ibid