I Do. Not: Why I Won’t Marry

Topics: Marriage, Common-law marriage, Same-sex marriage Pages: 4 (1418 words) Published: November 21, 2012
I Do. Not: Why I Won’t Marry

Catherine Newman, in her essay “I Do. Not: Why I Won’t Marry” Written with a feminine edge, this author gives reasons why she won't marry. She also brings up various traditions and meanings behind the customs of marriage, while interjecting with details of her own relationship. The author uses logos and pathos throughout her writing to educate her readers on both the allure and the downsides of marriage. She establishes an informal relationship with her audience of young girls or women who are planning on getting married. Newman uses logos to inform the readers about the costumes behind marriage. She compares marriage with the trafficking of women because, as she says, “Marriage is about handing the woman off, like a baton, from her father to her husband. Also known as traffic in women, this is how men have historically solidified their economic connections to other men” (61). She thinks that it defeats the purpose of being independent, that it is a throwback to a time when women were treated like property. At a catholic wedding Newman attended she observed a bride with a candle, “Which she used a light to candle for her husband. She then had to blow out the first candle, which was supposed to represent her naughty old independent self-the same lucky self that had now been absorbed, and extinguished, by her husband” (62). The candle ceremony symbolizes the bride taking a forward step in life and leaving her old lifestyle behind. Newman supports her position on why marriage is not right for her with the use of pathos through her writing. She thinks getting married is not fair to her gay friends, “Because the religious right and their defense of marriage act use marriage as a vehicle for homophobic legislation. Because I would feel like a real A-hole if I put on a beaded cream bodice and vowed myself away in front of all our gay friends-smiling and polite I their dark silk shirts or gossiping wickedly about our choice of canapés-who...
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