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A Speech on the Bow and Arrow

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A Speech on the Bow and Arrow

Page 1 of 5
Martin’s I^3 Speech
A comprehensive guide on how human beings
Invented and perfected the bow and arrow

A long, long time ago, way before any of us in this stinky room was born, there lived creatures very much like us… something with almost exactly the same exotic features of us. Can you guess what it is??? Show of hands… It’s the caveman!!! How could all of you, intelligent human beings of god’s creation not know!!! Sigh… but yes, I’m here to teach you some things, so I shall not scold you anymore. Teachers don’t scold, do they?

One day, a caveman threw a rock. “Wow! Rocks can fly when I throw it!” he said. But he became hungry and decided to hunt. He threw the rock in the sky and it accidentally landed on a deer. That unlucky deer died from a broken skull. Ouch. Then, the lucky caveman said, “Yay!!! I will have a hearty dinner today!” Crack! He threw the rock that killed a deer and made history. And this is where the story of long range weapons started. The throwing rock then evolved to the throwing spear, or javelin, then to the slingshot, and then to the bow and arrow and then to the firearms and then yeah… but I will be talking mostly about the bow and arrow. After a smart caveman invented the bow and arrow at around 40, 000 years ago, people started to copy him, and then soon enough, the creation started to spread around the whole world. Sadly, we will never know who specifically invented the bow and arrow, as in the cavemen times, they had, you know, a dumb brain, or a brain not as smart as our perfected highly intelligent brains and therefore not think about names and stuff like that. You know those Flintstones? I’d have to say, they were pretty bird-brained. But, I may have to think about that because if cavemen were so dumb, how do they know how to invent the bow???

One of the most famous recorded uses of the bow was by the English and Welsh bowmen of their army. They this kind of bow that they called the longbow and it was a probably very...