A Second Chance
Choosing to pursue a college a degree at the age of 33 I had prepared myself for obstacles like scheduling conflicts and how to balance five kids and school, I was not prepared for the fact that my past and my self-esteem would be the biggest obstacle in my way.
I have started and stopped school more times then I care to count or admit. Every single time my reasons seemed good, from having a baby to my job, to not being able to give it my full attention. The frustration that I have continuously felt has been indescribable, and each time it has made it harder for me to pick myself up and to continue forward with my educational dreams.
I had made the decision a long time ago that I would not let the physical and emotional abuse that I suffered as a child get the best of me. But I have found that even though the scars of the physical abuse have faded with time, the emotional scars have not. The emotional scars have left me self-doubting my capability and self-worth of attaining a college degree.
While my other siblings were encouraged to pursue college, I was told on many occasions by my mother that I was not smart enough, not good enough, that I should concentrate on working. Though I had trouble in mathematics, I excelled in everything else. I took advance placement English, Biology and History through high school just to prove a point that I was just as smart as my brothers and sister who did not even bother taking any of these classes when they were in school. Even after all that I was still told that I would not amount to anything, to stop dreaming and face the reality that I was not “college material”.
There have been many times over the years that I have shared my schooling with my mother and family and every single time my mother has given me reasons why I should not be attending school. I was told that I was being selfish and that I need to make my children a...