A Satire on College Elections

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Effective Public Speaking. ENGL C353.

Date : 15/04/2013

The Democracy of.

Audience : Students and Staff Venue : Auditorium

Hello Everyone!

The fun-starved faculty, the ever-upright Election Commission, the redoubtable candidates and their loyal supporters, Welcome to the biggest event in the election season of BPHC – The Soapbox! As we know, the Students’ Union elections form the cornerstone of the democracy that is BPHC. Here we have manifestoes that matter, candidates with proper credentials(!), an election commission that never bends or bows and voters who arrive at their choice most rationally. As usual, we have people from Andhra Pradesh contesting against each other for every single post. I wonder why that happens in a college with 40% Telugu population! Surely students of a reputed national college such as ours wouldn’t discriminate on the basis of regionalism? I guess we will never know the answer to that one , not this year atleast. And then we have an election commission that is as rational and just as supervised as Kim Jong-il. An election commission that is so autonomous it beats its own purpose. An election commission that picks its own members. Well there is no scope for favouritism there. There is, you say? Well, apparently, it didn’t occur to whoever wrote the charter.

The candidates themselves are white-as-milk. Sure, there is a lot of mudslinging, a little twisting of facts to suit the speaker, a few displays of power meant to intimidate. But it’s nothing you haven’t seen before in the general elections. Does it matter that these elections are being held in a closed community where everyone knows each other and as a result might change the mood of the campus for the worse? Not to the candidates and their supporters anyway. Finally, here comes the icing on the cake. The elections are held just three weeks into the beginning of the odd semester which means that first-years, constituting almost a third of the campus, are...
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