A pair of New Eyes
What a beautiful sunny day! I really should not just stay at home and write the damn essay. “Come on, let’s go to Whyte Ave and there just has some new arrivals at Oak + FORT.” Oh, that sounds great. Wait, what am I doing, I can’t do that. “Why not? Your paper is due next Thursday and you still have 5 days. Don’t be such a wet blanket.” No way! I suggest you’d better shut up and leave me alone before I get angry. I have to do my paper today and I really hate your annoying voice. That’s my watcher. She is a high school student who is just like a “gossip girl” from the teen movie. She always likes to give me some rotten suggestion and tempt me to go and play with her, when there was no inspiration in my mind and she stopped me from writing. Just like Gail Godwin wrote in “The Watcher at the Gates”, “they’d rather die (and kill your inspiration with them) than risk making a fool of themselves” (89). * * *
I keep flipping my textbook and trying to find a topic for my writing. After 30 minutes …
Well, I have a clear idea about the topic that I am going to discuss in my paper now. Oh, maybe I can ask my watcher about my idea.
“What do you think about ‘Revision’? I plan to use it as my essay topic.” “Seriously, it is not a really good idea. Do you know what ‘Revision’ is? ” “Of course, do you remember that I had read an article last week? It was Nancy Sommers’ “Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers”. ‘Revision’ is to review what you have written and rethink about the idea, and I want to explore her idea in my paper, like who revision helps and works on a writer’s paper.” “No! You are wrong. Revision is just like proofreading, cross out a word and replace another decent word. You do not need to review and fix what is written down on your paper, and revision is inefficient and it just wastes your time. You know what, you misunderstand the reading. Revision is not that easy to understand, so just leave your essay and hang out with me.” “No, I don’t believe what you say about revision. I am not an idiot! Don’t fool me. I know you don’t want me to learn more about revision, but I won’t give you that chance. I am going to prove you are the wrong one!” * * *
Lies form my Watcher:
- Revision is just like proofreading, cross out a word and replace another decent word. -People do not need to think a lot and make a plan before they write their first draft. -Writing process follows a linear path.
-You do not need to review and fix what is written down on your paper, and revision is inefficient and it just wastes your time. * * *
Dear Nancy Sommers,
I am going to write some comments on your article “Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers”. I really like that you used methodology to see how revision works by comparing two groups-student writers’ writing process and experienced writers’ writing process. You made some brilliant points that I agree with, and I would like to explain how they affect me and how I understand them. The first point is
The students understand the revision process as a rewording activity. They do so because they perceive words as the unit of written discourse. That is, they concentrate on particular words apart from their role in the text (412).
I agree with this point because I am a university student and I can be classified as a student writer according to what you said. When I review my first draft, I will pay more attention to word choice. I would like to eliminate the repeating-word by substituting another word which has the similar meaning. When I do my paper, I do not think a lot to use different words to express my idea. Therefore, I will focus on editing words when I review my paper. That is what you pointed out that student writers are unable to see revision as a process of having a pair of new eyes to re-view their whole essay again, to fix problems on text...
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