You have been with us for almost 22 yrs, although i spent the few years studying and working in another city... Now that youre far and Christmas is the only time you can come home, made me regret the moment when i had the chance to to tell you how proud and thankful i am to finally had a sister, but i wasnt able to say those words to you.
The yrs when we wer in the same roof of our family were so fast and short that i cant even remember a single detail that we had spent it together just to sit around and talk, like real siblings do.. And this is the best way i know to simply THANK YOU, tell you that I MISS YOU and LOVE YOU, and above all, that IM SORRY to disappoint you as your elder brother.
i know that you wer not very happy with how i misbehaved at home and how you witnessed me arguing with mama. and its of course a false bravado i shouldnt have shown you as your role model for respect and honor to our parents. But you stil try your best to understand and console me because you know who really i am and how i was brought up. These things i should do to you instead to guide you wher you are now. i was a neglectful brother and son, and im very sorry. ive been longing to tell you this, especially to mama and papa. i may not know how painful it is to raise a person like me, who grew up with full of hatred and anger, but i know i can change and reconcile. i never really wanted to hurt anyone i love.
Thank you for listening to my sad and odd stories when love and life had been tough for me. And most of all, thank you for being there for me (even in your school uniform) in the ICU to tirelessly take care of everything i needed to survive life. Again , these things i should have done to you instead, to keep you from all harm. i may not have realized it earlier, but i owe my life to my younger sister.
Truly it is that youll learn to miss someone when they left. i could have hugged you when u left to work there, but i havent, thinking that...