You Don’t Understand Me
Robert A. Wood Sr.
COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
"People commonly believe that they communicate better with close friends than with strangers. That closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate, a phenomenon we term the 'closeness-communication bias,'" (Anonymous, 2011)
As to the notion that spouses tend to not fully understand each other there is an aspect that was not mentioned. The idea of “trust” is a major factor in any relationship. If we do not fully trust one another then how are we to value the opinion of each other. People are capable of understanding but when we talk in half sentences or vague thoughts and ideas it is hard to get our point or idea across. I feel that the article barely puts a dent in the problem.
I have been married twice and each woman was very different and as a result I had to tailor my conversations to areas where we were able to communicate. Even though each woman was my spouse I never fully felt that they knew me well enough for me to be able to open up to them. If a married couple cannot open up to each other then it makes it hard to share problems or ideas. Another area that was not mentioned was “interests.” It is hard for spouses to talk about things that do not interest them. My 2nd wife has no interest in movies or TV but I love both so when I start talking about a movie or a TV show she just rolls her eyes and nods her head feigning interest.
When it comes to things of a personal level such as sexual things for example my 2nd wife will not talk about those things at all which brings up another area that was not mentioned. How we are “brought up” is a factor in how we deal with each other. How did our parents interact with each other is a good indication as to how we will act with each other. I have found myself acting out in ways that I remember my father acting.
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