After I read the sample personal narrative essay packet 1, the essay title “Nancy” is an interesting essay that I want to keep reading it. This essay starts with a speech of a teacher. It is not a boring introduction for a narrative essay and makes the essay more like an interesting story. For example, “Class, I would like you to meet our new student, Nancy. She just moved here from Baton Rouge.” (1). Moreover, the writer used a lot of specific descriptions to show the details of Nancy’s appearance. For instance, “Her sweater’s sleeves reached only halfway down her forearms, and the listless faded yellow mixed oddly with her sallow skin and greasy blond hair (10). The example indicates how the person exactly looks like, and it is a good way to help readers to build an image of the narrative essay. And the writer used words very flexible, “While everyone seemed to talk about her, no one bothered to actually talks to her.”(19). The word “talk” has two different meaning in this sentence. However, in my opinion, one of the other essays is not interesting as the above one. The second essay without title is a little boring for me. On this first page, just a few paragraph shows up with short and flat thesis. For example, “The drive up to Canada seemed to take an eternity.”(1). And the essay needs some transit words or sentences because every paragraph seems like an independent story. For instance, “So Robbie offered me a way out. I had four days to get my things in order.” (11). It is hard for me to figure out the connection of context. In addition, the essay indeed more description words, like comparative words or description of portrait. But in this essay, it just shows that “The airport was empty.”(21). Yes, it is an empty sentence which needs rhetoric to make it perfect. I think if the writer has more patience, he or she will write a better narrative essay.
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