Why I Hate the Mall

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Why I Hate the Mall

I hate shopping malls. No, you don't understand. I really hate shopping malls. I think sitting at the Food Court near the Burger King for one hour has served only to heighten my displeasure with these gaudy monstrosities. The only reason I'm here is because nothing else in the town of Poughkeepsie, NY. seems to catch my interest long enough for me to take notice.

I got here noon-ish I think. I had to take a taxi since none of my non- pedestrian friends were willing to roll out of bed to give me a ride. "You're waking me up why? The Mall? You insane?" *click*. If there is anything in Poughkeepsie worse than the mall, it would be Poughkeepsie taxi cabs. I never understood why it is that each and every one of them have air freshners which are so putrid smelling, they make one long for the odor of a New York City cabbie's "natural cologne". After enduring ten minutes of the cabbie's "lemme tell ya what's wrong with this country", I finally get to my destination.

As soon as I got there, I began to think about how sad it is that the mall has very much become a part of American life. The Chinese have their rice, we have our malls. Does anyone else see a problem with having over one-thousand of these gaudy monstrosities across the country? Despite the fact that the era of eighties-decadence has passed, the malls keep coming, and they keep getting bigger. It's like something out of an Ed Wood flick.

I remember reading an article about how bad it's gotten. The largest mall in America has 425 retail shops, 4.2 million square feet of space, over 13 thousand free parking spaces, 44 escalators, and cost $625 million dollars to build. Oh, did I mention that there is a full blown amusement park in the center of it all. It's just sick. When I was in Freeport, I remember hearing a radio show which was running a contest. The prize? A trip to the largest mall in America! Pretty soon, you'll have family vacations to the mall. I can see it now....
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