Why Farts Are Awesome

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People are too uptight. Or maybe people just don't realize how funny farting actually is. And by people, I mean the feminine half of the population. The difference in opinion between the sexes on the humorous value of a good fart is one of the most telling signs that men are far more evolved than women. Or at least have a better sense of humor. Dammit, farts are funny. So what brought this on, you ask? Well today at work, I had to fart. So naturally I ran over to where one of my coworkers was standing, lifted my leg, scrunched my face up, and let 'er rip. Apparently, that was rude. Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

uuuuuuuuuuuse me.
After I farted on my coworker, every single male working starting laughing their asses off, and the females looked at me as if I'd just committed the most heinous crime one can commit. The manager tried to keep the peace by politely asking me to not fart on people, but it was one of those times where you're trying to tell somebody not to do something, yet you just can't stop laughing. I was forced to admit that farting on someone is rude. Yeah, so? It's also very freakin hilarious. We do it to each other all the time, well, the guys anyway. We'll run over to each other's workstations, rip one off, then run away laughing as the other person covers their nose. Then an hour later they'll get us back. And you know what? It's damn funny too. So of course when I farted on my coworker people asked me if I would think it's funny if someone farted on me. Not especially, but it would be damn funny to them, and if they did it to me and didn't laugh, I'd kick their ass. Of course it isn't funny if you're on the receiving end, but it's comedic gold if you deliver a well-timed stinker to a friend. The humor value of a fart is judged by the level of humor in the eyes of the farter and the third-party audience, if applicable. The fartee's perspective doesn't count. That's the whole point of getting a good laugh at...
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