Practical Book Review: Why Don’t We Listen Better? By James C. Peterson
Practical Book Review: Why Don’t We Listen Better? By James C. Petersen
Listening is a very complicated skill that many people do not posses. It requires individuals to reflect and to admit to their flaws. In order to communicate effectively it is important to know when to talk and listen. Peterson’s book is an excellent tool to enhance all types of relationships.
Petersen, J. C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications.
Peterson’s uses a variety of situation and scenarios to support a theory called the “flat brain theory of emotion.” Basically the author theorizes that emotion, both positive and negative, delay communication thus shaping relationships. According to Peterson we communicate using our stomach, heart, and brain. Each one affects the ability to recognize what is really happening during communication. He gives examples of how emotions outweighing each other and how they affect our vision, responses, and how we listen. To understand “flat brain syndrome” he compares unhealthy communication to a courtroom scenario. Courtroom dialogue is very defensive and attack like in nature, each party trying to win. Peterson believes that if are able to properly express our emotions without attacking and listen without becoming defensive it will benefit us in any relationship.
Peterson also uses this theory to explain why individuals’ martial, professional, and family issues are never resolved. To listen to each better Peterson discuss a method called TLC (talker, listener card). He describes the role of the talker and the listener and tips on how to improve in them both areas. Great examples are used to illustrate and apply this method. Communicating without a third party being present to mediate... [continues]
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