Writing I- Tuesday
September 6, 2011
Reasons Why Relationships Fail
Whether you have been married twenty years or have just been dating for several months, your relationship is not immune to serious problems (Baby Please Don’t Go, p.1). No relationship can be devoid of problems because there exists no such thing as a perfect relationship. Relationships revolve around human nature, the depths of which can never be calculated (Borkar, 2010, p.1). Even the best couples run into relationship problems once in a while. Conflict is part of the human tapestry that we all deal with at one time or another (Warta, 2008, p.1). Relationship problems are nothing but a few bumps on the road of life and one has no other option but to cross over them. Relationship problems are not just limited to a couple, but they also occur between father and child, brother and sister, and between friends (Dating Women, 2010-2011, p.3). But fear not, that does not necessarily mean that we have to just hopelessly accept relationship problems without the ability to prevent or remedy them. Our ability to prevent, minimize and resolve our relationship problems will ultimately aid us in strenghtening the relationship (EZ Love Solutions, 2011, p.1).
All relationship problems stem from poor communication skills. Individuals that are unable to express themselves and want their partners to understand it is wanting a miracle. You need to relize that when you are unable to understand and express yourself, expecting someone else to do so is completely wrong. If you know the right and effective way to communicate with your partner, almost all types of relationship problems can be solved. One must communicate properly. Proper communication implies expressing your thoughts clearly and listening effectively to other’s opinion (Dating Women, 2010-2011, p.3).
No matter what the issues are, the real problem is that two partners have not been talking openly to each other about their feelings. This lack of communication is what makes the problems grow in the early stages and what makes them hugely difficult to deal with in the end stages of the relationship (Pinkerton, 2011, p.1).
Too often, talking to each other means fighting with each other. Relationship problems can not be solved with yelling and screaming. There will never be a smooth communication if there are two contradicting opinions that might send a couple arguing (Win My Partner Back, 2010, p.2).
For the most part, there are two basic ways of talking about problems: Direct Accusation versus Problem Identification. When upset or angry, many people confront their spouses by focusing on their partner’s behavior (Your Tango, 2004-2011, p. 3). This rarely works. A more effective approach involves focusing on one’s feelings, not a partner’s behavior. It is easier for a partner to hear what you have to say when you focus on your own feeling and not dwell on his or her mistakes. When trying to discuss a problem, it is important not to assign blame. If you can get your partner to understand your point of view, you are much more likely to create a meaningful and lasting resolution (Your Tango, 2004-2011, p. 4-5).
Trust is one of the major backbones of a relationship. If there are some problems with trust in your relationship, then they will cause further relationship problems (Relationship Disaster, 2010 , p. 2). A relationship has to be built around this, without which there can be no hope of a strong and serious relationship ever happening. Without trust, whatever else happens has absolutely no meaning (Borkar, 2010, p. 2).
Breaking promises, lying,and cheating are violations of trust. These violations almost always result in relationship problems. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, the problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Couples in loving relationships can...