Why Bingo Keeps Grannies Off the Streets

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Bingo keeps grannies off the streets!
With the somewhat on-going troubles on the streets caused by what can only be described as ASBO pensioners, bingo has helped distract these old timers and give the general public time to revive and recuperate from the horrific destruction they cause, day in, day out. With execution “inhumane” and out of the question, the search for a remedy began. After hours of hard work and refinement, the answer became clear. BINGO! A revolutionary idea based on the national lottery and round tipped permanent markers. The brainchild of Edwin Lowe spread throughout the world in a matter of hours, saving millions of people and billions of pounds. These prolific gang members are known as OAPs and have been reported to commit countless crimes, including homicide, genocide, theft, harassment, accusing innocent youths of “loitering” and worst of all, driving excessively slowly. I know, I sends shivers down your spine just thinking about it. The weapon of choice is usually a walking stick; handbag or Zimmer frame. They can usually be seen roaming the streets in a Nissan micra, a Reliant robin or the infamous mobility scooter (the “granny mobile”). The Point is this man is a godsend. He has singlehandedly saved our wondrous planet from the suffering caused by these cantankerous, narcissistic undesirables for nearly 60 years. Without this one humble man, the world as we know it would be an anarchy filled sinkhole, waiting for its finite end. Thank you for listening and I hope you hold back before you decide to “take the mick” out of bingo.
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