I consider myself many things, some positive, most negative, but one trait that comes to mind when someone asks me, “What is one adjective to describe you?” I cannot really answer that honestly. “Hi, I’m Andrea and I would say that my overarching trait of all others is cynicism. I believe that I am the way that I am from learning how to cope with tragic events that have happened in the past. Sigmund Freud’s ego defenses could clearly back up this idea.
I am not cynical because I saw it on some TV show or movie when I was little and I definably didn’t learn it from my parents or friends. I’ve learned to be this way from past experiences, especially ones from the past three years. Two years ago I was living in Atlanta with my mom and my younger brother, Alex. Having known about my dad’s previous affairs, I was so hesitant and nervous about him leaving us, living alone for an entire year. I tried to put my cynical thoughts behind me and told myself it was time to forgive him and trusting him again.
The bad habit of thinking negative thought shows no exception to any situation especially this one. Two years later I find out that my dad had indeed a set of affairs while he lived alone. But this one I wouldn’t even consider an affair. These were hookers that he would have move to Singapore to live with him while we were oblivious in Atlanta.
See, I have lived with my dad’s previous secrets for two years without telling anyone and I wasn’t about to let this one destroy me for the second time. After I found out, I waited three weeks to tell my mom and when I did, my dad took my computer and deleted all the evidence I had of his disgusting ways, before I got to show my mom.
He told her that he would never ever cheat on her and that she’s insane for even believing me. And of course I put this on myself and think it’s my fault for telling her. It’s my fault for not being able to keep it a secret. The main explanation I can tell you about my...