In this assignment I intend to explore the issues raised in the case study provided which is about a 45-year-old single man who has worked for the same company for 18 years, a managers post has become available within his workplace and although he has on occasions acted up to the post in the absence of the current manager, he has reservations on whether to apply. He is described as a gentle and caring man who worries about other people’s perceptions of him; he has a mother who is a dominant figure in his life and a girlfriend who he wishes to make a commitment to, but fears the thought of her rejection. The issues I have identified are listed below but I think the most likely underlying factor is that he was subjected to Critical parenting throughout his life, which would also make him feel that he suffers from Anxiety, fear of Success, failure, and of change. He would also have a low self esteem and maybe have a hidden agenda that deep down he is content with his life but thinks he needs to change to please others which would mean taking on extra responsibilities both at work and in his personal life.
From the case study it is clear that this is the most likely factor that Mr. X is suffering from, when you have a critical and controlling parent, you learn not to trust yourself and question the decisions you make for your life. The parent will criticize your thoughts, feelings, decisions Criticism is poison, literally. It causes stress, anxiety, hurt feelings, uncertainty and insecurity. Self-doubt replaces your normal developmental need to discovering things for yourself, learning to complete tasks and be competent. You become fearful, distrustful and insecure about your own decisions and abilities. Criticism leads to significant anxiety and stress. Criticized children tend to be pessimistic, fearful and are reluctant to make themselves a part of activities. They may isolate themselves, be depressed and irritable. Some may even be aggressive. (Cynthia Henries) Critical parents poison the spirit. Instead of having the resiliency to face life challenges, you question every step of the way. You may know on some level you are making good choices and decisions, but struggle to feeling confident in the decisions you make. You may struggle with dependency needs and a need to be independent. (Which can be a hidden agenda in Mr. X’s case) Critical parents undermine your sense of being able to think for yourself and trust yourself. You may not live up to your real potential in life because you may hold yourself back. Have low self esteem and a strong inner critical voice that speaks continuously to us of our guilt, our shame and our wrongs, this inner critical voice is the voice of abuse that:
Attacks us and criticizes us,
Blames us and compares us,
Shames us and hurts us,
Makes us feel guilty.
Convinces us that it knows what everyone else thinks!
It’s during the earliest childhood years when we first experience feelings of not being acceptable for whom we are by our parents. If you received messages as a child that you were not ok for whom you were, then your inner critic will be a strong voice, constantly upbraiding you today in the same way. If you had a controlling, critical parent, you will typically have problems with self-esteem, insecurity and under-estimate your skills and contributions to jobs, tasks, events or other people. Critical parents poison your spirit. Instead of having the resiliency to face life challenges, you question every step of the way. You may know you are making good choices and decisions, but struggle to feeling confident in the decisions you make. Critical parents undermine your sense of being able to think for yourself and trust yourself. These are cornerstones for being a healthy, confident individual. You may not live up to your real potential in life because you may hold yourself back. In the workplace, your lower self-confidence may contribute to a...