Understanding My Self Concept

Individual Work Week #: 2
Understanding my own Self-Concept

Beatrice Bailey

Everest Online

This paper was submitted to SPC 2300: Interpersonal Communication, taught by R. Nead.
Spring 2013
As a person your self-concept helps you communicate with others (Wood, 2013). I have been personally working on my self-concept for years. I feel that my early childhood experience has given me a false perception of myself. Throughout this essay I will be discussing on one of the many changes I would like to achieve. With this change I think I will be better able to communicate with my family and friends more efficiently. The most important change that I want to achieve would have to be more open with my family and friends. I have already recognized how my self-concept was formed in my early childhood. I genuinely feel that I’m not a very loveable person because shortly afterwards my parents’ divorce I lost contact with my father. With me being a young child I naturally blamed myself for his absence. As a result, I tend to not be open to people so they cannot get close to me and potentially hurt me. Through the process of self-disclosure we can reveal information about ourselves as well as gain a new perspective on which we are as a person and by seeing how we communicate with others (Wood, 2013). This process is where I feel that will help me be a more open communicator. I tend to fail at this process just because of the risk that it entails to trust a person with the information that I choose to disclose. I think that in order to achieve the change that I want my goal would to be able to vocalize my hopes and fears to a friend or family member. This seems to be a reasonable and realistic goal to set because regardless of my fears being able to openly communicate with the people I trust the most should be without consequences. In order for me to accomplish this goal however, I need to be able to accept who I am and not let my past define me and my future (Wood, 2013). This is something I’m currently working on with myself and my therapist. I see that my past is a huge influence on who I am as a person today. I have several people that I admire their ability to vocalize their hopes, dreams, feelings, and fears. I mentioned my friend Jennifer last week in my discussion. Her ability to openly discuss her fears to me about her fiancée was awe-inspiring. I have been observing her all week and her openness with anyone she communicates with regularly is something I would love to be able to do personally. She has no regard with how others perceive her and has said on several occasions that what others think of her is their own opinion and the only opinion that matters to her is her own. Another person I aspire to be like is my mother. She also is very open with her communication. I have had several conversations recently with my mother about current situations that I have come across and I still find myself scared to be fully open like she is. To be able to be as open as my mother and Jennifer is something I want to accomplish with this particular change. The setting that I need to surround myself with is positive people that are willing to help me with the change that I seek. I can also only achieve my goal if I also put myself in the correct context which in this case would be going out with friends in social situations instead of staying at home and hiding from everyone. Surrounding me with people who will be a positive influence and encourage my change can only enhance my ability to change (Wood, 2013). One other way to accomplish my goal is to avoid self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is one of the most devastating kinds of communication because if can undermine our belief in ourselves (Wood, 2013). The most devastating potential barrier that I can foresee hindering me in the change I want is my fear of rejection and ridicule. This fear has been with me throughout my life and is something that is hard to let go. Another barrier that I will face is my ability to accept who I am as a person. I realize these are very substantial barriers to overcome so I can achieve my goals. However if I can overcome these barriers it can only help me in the future with my communication skills. Understanding your self-concept, what goals you set yourself and understand that there will be setbacks, but not to be deterred from your long term goal can only help with your personal growth (Wood, 2013). I have put in front of myself a change that can only happen if I am willing to accept myself. With surrounding me with such positive and inspiring people I know that I’m on the right track to achieving my change. References Wood, J. T. (2013). Interpersonal communication everyday encounters (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Wadsworth.