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"My ultimate goal is to save lives" - Ut essay A Statement of purpose karlayadThreads: 3
Posts: 12 Edited by: karlayad Sep 14, 2010, 06:49pm #1
Statement of Purpose
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admission committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and the other application information cannot convey
As a 17 year old freshman in college I still had my doubts as to what I wanted out of life. I had no clue as to what my passion was. Persuaded by my father's dreams and my love for mathematics, I decided to choose the challenging major of Biomedical Engineering. I was determined to fulfill this profession with the thought of helping people and making the life of patients, doctors, and heath professionals much easier with new machinery. As freshman ...
I know it is a bit lengthy but i do not know what to omit and what to keep. If there is anything you have to say about it or you think i should completely change my direction do not feel afraid to say so. Thank you for your feedback.
Posts: 15 Sep 14, 2010, 09:49pm #2
you want your essay to be as concise as possible. so cut down words such as "as to " and just make it "I had no clue what my passions were" also you can replace "as to" with "regarding" in your opening sentence.
Many may ask why so many changes - this clause is awkward. make it "Many may question the reasons behind my numerous field changes." or something along those lines. be more specific.
My ultimate goal is to save lives, teach the community of preventive health, watch life happen, help those women who are single mothers, those who do not know how to take care of themselves when pregnant. - elaborate on this. describe don't tell and list and flat out give away the objective of your essay.
"I will like to make a difference in the world by working with the most" it should be "I would like..."
hope i helped! just remember to be specific, refrain from telling your story and rather describe it in vivid detail. also cut down on redundant words to make your essay as concise as possible
Posts: 12 Edited by: karlayad Sep 16, 2010, 08:36pm #3
Success has infinite definitions; it all comes down to who is defining the term. In my case, success accounts for reaching that point of satisfaction in what I do and being my best at it. After an indecisive first year of college I found what I wanted to do with my life. I achieved my freshman year of college switching from engineering to biology to nursing, searching for the subject of my best interest. Throughout my search, I found the health science road to be the one to follow in order to achieve success.
I am eager to start achieving my long term goals as a physician. As I get closer to graduating and entering the work field I find myself reading and researching for such things as diseases, people, health, science, viruses, and more. I am most interested in the formation of a fetus and the woman's reproductive system ever since I saw it in my Anatomy class. I wish to know about prenatal problems, AIDS, the breast, infections, viruses,...