This My Upload

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This month's column on bizarre breasts is actually focused on that other part of the female anatomy that starts with "B" men love to draw: butts. Welcome to Bizarre Butts. The comic at hand is X-Women, a one-shot from Marvel. I should have known this was going to be atrociously sexist from the cover ... but hey, I like Rogue and Storm. Flipping through I see good stuff initially, and some stuff towards the end that seems interesting, but what really grabs me is the instantaneous thought that this is the perfect example of how not to get anyone, men or women, interested in comics. I knew right then I had to write this article.

First, let me give you a count to keep in your head as we discuss this. Total number of butt-shots (three-fourths of the butt or more) from cover to cover is 87, give or take a few (it's hard to keep track of that many). That takes talent and drive, and a real love of the cheekier part of the anatomy! Many of those butt-shots are either naked or have the uber-thong, but again, it's hard to tell the difference or even know for sure since we don't see the front bits. These ladies have a lot of mutant skills to flaunt, but what's their real superpower? The ability to maintain a permanent uber-wedgie without flinching, complaining, picking or even noticing. And just wait till we get to the crotch-shot bonanza!

Ah, the cover. The eye-catcher that draws the reader in. Well, I guess that depends on what you're looking for. This cover features four porno faces, two of which are full blown "o" faces and various ways of stretching the female body while trying to appear sexual. We also get our first two butt shots, with Storm's raging wedgie taking your attention by force. Though I must give props to the lacing on Storm's back, which shows her skin bulging out around it; that's the one realistic piece of flesh on the entire cover. The next stop for the eyes is actually a subtle crotch shot on Psylocke as her outfit points an... [continues]

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