I was 19 in college majoring in criminal justice. I remember it like it was yesterday. The semester ended, and I was out of school for the summer. It was nice outside, no more snow, so it was time to party. I ended up moving about an hour and half from where I was in college with my boyfriend. What was I thinking? I ended up moving out and met my soon to be son’s father a few months later. Things were going well but then I found out I was pregnant. I took at least four tests because I couldn’t believe it. I was 19, in college, going on my second semester and now I am pregnant. It’s not supposed to go that way. What am I going to do?
The father of my child is having mixed feelings because he already has kids and doesn’t want anymore. So I basically already know I am going to be doing this alone. We try and we try to get along for the baby’s sake but it just isn’t working. So we go our separate ways. Now I really know I am going to be doing this alone. I am scared. I have never been in a situation like this before. What was I going to do is all I can ask myself. My father is there for me but I can’t depend on him to do things for me and my child. I have a good support system on my side and they encourage me that I can do it I just have to have faith in myself. So I continue to work up until 3 days before my due date because I know that money will be tight while I am out of work. I have everything that I need for my child now it’s time to wait for him to come.
My son is finally here, born March 15, 2007 at 3:18 am. My dad is in the room with me while I deliver but my son’s father is nowhere to be found. I come home on March 18 not knowing what to do with this baby I have now. My father stays for a couple of days to help me out but after that I am left to figure this thing called motherhood out on my own. After about a month I have my sons schedule down pat. Being a mom isn’t that bad after all. I just miss getting sleep.
My six weeks are up and it is time to go back to work. My father watched my son for me while I was at work. He lived about a half hour away from me so he would stay at my house during the week and go home on the weekends. After about a month of doing that he decided that if he was going to watch my son he would have to take him home with him during the week until Friday. So for about three months I would only get to see my son on the weekends. I didn’t like that very much. I felt like I was missing out on things my son was beginning to do. So I found a day care close to my house and started him in daycare when he was four months. It was harder on me because I would have to get up earlier every morning to get him to daycare to be to work on time. After a while I became accustomed to it.
My sons father started coming around occasionally to see my son, but wasn’t never really much help for me else wise still. I found a new, better paying job because having a baby is not cheap. I participated in the WIC program which paid for my son’s formula every month but it wasn’t enough. I would have to pay out of pocket which was very high so I definitely needed a better paying job. It seemed like my extra spending money after I paid bills was going to formula and diapers. I had to even move to another apartment with lower rent for me to be able to get by.
I move when my son is almost one and his father is still in and out of his life. Due to my new job, I have later hours and I have to find another babysitter for my son to go to when daycare closes. I learned that people do not care for your child the same way that you do. My son’s babysitter didn’t pick him from daycare one day. She never called me to let me know she wasn’t going to be able to pick him up or nothing. So I ended up having to leave work 3 hours early to get my son. After that I found a more dependable babysitter who just happened to be his god mother. My son’s...