Tour Guide- Welcome to an exhilarating tale of Me, Myself, and a few other unsuspecting victims: ug (cough) I mean tourists! Yes, yes tourists that’s what I meant! (lightning strikes) Ahh here they come now!!!!
(Set changes and goes to the tourists running in the Bloody Tower of London England)
Tourist 1- OMG!! Could it get any more like wet out there!? Uhh!! I swear if my louis vitton bag gets ruined………
Tourist 2- Don’t get your panties in a bunch, no one cares about your stupid bag!!
Tourist 1- It’s a vitton original!!!!
Tourist 3- Guys!!! Come on get a hold of yourselves!!!
(The tour guide sneaks up behind them)
Tour Guide- Hello and welcome to the Red Tower of London, England – where no one can hear your screams!!! I mean… cheerful laughter, yes laughter. Would you all like to participate in a free three-part tour starting here at the Red Tower of London??
Tourist 4- Pulls out a diagram of a timeline of when and why the name of the Red Tower was changed to the Bloody Tower of London
Tourist 4- Um it isn’t called the Red tower anymore, it’s actually called the Bloody Tower of England now
Tourist Guide- Yeah, that… well whatever! So anyways… are you interested in my proposal?
Tourist 1- I mean what ev’s, as long as there’s a gift shop Tourist 3- There’s not a gift shop
Tour Guide- Of course there’s a gift shop!! It includes many great books and one of a kind handbags!
Tourist 4- Say no more, I’m what you would say “in”!
Tourist 3- I don’t know about this guys….
Tour Guide- Well, lets go you bumbling minuscule idiots
Tourist 1- Um… rude much?!!
(Starts tour listing facts; they reach a room with a fairy statue in the corner. Lights go off and Tourist 3 goes missing, fairy comes to life. Lights come back on!!)
Tourist 2- Um… where’s that one guy… tourist 3?...