The Story of Us

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Using the Gibb categories give three examples of defensive and or supportive behaviors that Ben and Katie used in the film. “The story of us” is an excellent movie that portrays the roller-coaster of marriage in a humorous and cleaver way. The film reiterates the key concepts we have learned in our interpersonal communication class, in particular chapters ten and eleven on conflict management and improving communication climates. According to Gibb people feel defensive when they perceive that they are under attack. When defensive responses arise in interpersonal communications, it is the relationship itself that becomes defensive. This is evident in the Jordan’s communication patterns, the majority of exchanges between Ben and Katie are hostile and resentful. Fighting is not an uncommon sight. Ben is spontaneous, romantic and impulsive, with low frustration tolerance and an explosive hair trigger temper. Katie is pragmatic, a compulsive perfectionist with unrealistic expectations, and a high need for control. She takes everything personally and never forgives or forgets a slight. They both blame each other for their disappointments. The pattern is clear. He doesn't meet her standards so she snipes, he explodes and then she accuses him of not listening. She then throws up every mistake he's ever made and every fault he's ever had. This goes on ad nauseam as their romantic obsession with one another continues to get the best of any sense they might have to call it quits. Like moths to a flame, they keep returning for another scorching.

The one very clear difference between the couple is although Ben has been criticized a great deal by Katie, and he is helplessly searching to find peace in their relationship, he still wants to be in on his marriage. He wants to forget the past and start a new chapter in his life, like one of his novels. Katie on the other hand feels that there is no way out. Katie complains that Ben is always "Harold" in their relationship, and...
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