The New Me vs the Old Me

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My upbringing and experiences in life have shaped me and made me who I am today. I am defined by my troubles in the past, my family, my education, my goals, and money. A lot of things have happened in my life that put me where I am today. I have been through an abusive family, exposed to inappropriate things, had run-ins with the law, and experienced a lot of things in my life. There are so many interesting stories in my life such as the time I was taken from my parents because of abuse and how my life changed from there. I feel these stories I have to tell will inform people of who I am and what shapes me. I lived in Texas for ten years before being taken from my parents and put in foster care due to abuse. Texas is very busy and big, especially the city where I was born, Houston. There were a lot of crimes where I grew up and sometimes it wasn’t a good place to live. Texas shaped a small part of me growing up because of all the influences around me. Most of my family still lives in Texas except my brother and sister, who are here in North Carolina. Living without my family here is hard and I wonder about them and how they are doing. I have always thought about moving back home to Texas but I feel it would be useless. I don’t fit in with my biological family because I haven’t seen them in over twelve years. From the ages of four to ten, I was neglected and abused by both my parents. My parents would leave me home by myself or with their friends who never watched me. I was allowed to roam around the neighborhood and do whatever I wanted and get into trouble. I would do the smallest things and get into trouble and my parents would beat me for nothing. I would be punished for things I would do by accident or didn’t know was wrong. I didn’t know the difference between right and wrong, and that caused me to get into trouble. My feelings towards my parents changed a lot because of how I was treated; I had mixed feelings about them and didn’t know whether or not I was really loved. The actions of my parents caused them to lose their parental rights and I was placed into foster care and group homes. I was only nine when this happened. I would not see my parents again for at least another eight years or so when I turned eighteen. I wasn’t the only one who was getting this type of abuse; my brother and sister were also being abused. All three of us were separated and put into different foster homes. I could only see them once a month and that was not enough for me. It took an emotional toll on me being separated from my siblings. I was hurt and sad because I had lost all of my family. I didn’t know how to cope with the abuse and stress from not being able to see my family, especially my brother and sister. I began to act out and misbehave in school and home causing me to be put into different foster and group homes. All of the abuse, different homes affected my life a lot and who I am today. My view on abuse is simple: it should NOT happen to anyone. If anyone experiences abuse, I encourage them to speak out and not hold onto it for several years as I did. When you hold it in it will hurt you a lot and damage your emotions. There is no need for anyone to hold in that kind of pain and suffering for a long time. Abuse is just wrong and any parent who abuses their children deserves the consequences that come their way. I have forgiven my parents for what happened to me as a child, but I will never forget- forgiveness is part of life. If you can’t forgive, it will be stuck inside you forever. I was raised with a very straight and narrow view on sexuality. I don’t believe in same-sex relationships because they are not meant to be. I was exposed to sex and a lot of sexually inappropriate things as a young child. No child should be exposed to anything like that because it will damage them. I had to grow up wondering what things I should and shouldn’t say or do that would be inappropriate. I was confused about what sexuality really...
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