The Kite Runner: Parody

Jill Endaya
Hour 2
Crump – Fiction 214
Kite Runnin’: The Kite Runner Parody
December 2001 I’m not who I am because of where I went to college, or what I’ve done… it’s what I saw at the age of twelve in the winter of 1975. This incident changed my life forever… the alley changed my life forever. Hannah was my best friend, a girl yes, but none-the-less, my best friend. Who am I? I am Amy. Yes, probably the most feminine name you could ever give a boy, but I’m not feminine at all. Or am I? Maybe sometimes.
Papa told me that my mother really wanted a giggling baby girl. When I was born and I wasn’t that baby girl, she named me Amy instead. She died that night. Papa always said that I would never live up to my name. I knew I never would
I cleared my throat, and read “I do not like them here or there, I do not like them anywhere. I would not eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them. Sam I am.” I look at Hannah while she smiled at me and her lazy eye tried to look at me as well. Hannah was born with a lazy eye. It freaked me out. I never told her though, because I thought it would be too… well, feminine to bring up something like that. And I am by no means feminine. Just born with a feminine name. That reminds me of a
The kite took a sharp corner and she followed right with it. As soon as she turned the corner, Ash and his two groupies were standing in the back alley. I wasn’t scared at all… no. I, Amy, am a very brave boy. But I just wanted to watch from afar. As I watched from the distance, I witnessed Ash and his compadres change Hannah forever. They pushed her in the corner and forced her to…. eat broccoli. It was the worst thing I had ever seen in my life and I did nothing to help her. It not only changed my life, but Hannah’s life forever too. I could never forgive myself for this incident… or I could I?
Later in 1975 to 1976ish…
Hannah and I stopped talking. I just avoided her at all cost. I kept trying to get Papa to kick them out of our house…but I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened to her in the alley.
March 1981
We were split up forever. I never saw Hannah again. At the time, I thought it was the best time of my life. A new start and a new time to make new friends. But I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened to Hannah in the alley.
California June 2001… or something like that.
I met a woman named Sam. We married, but couldn’t have children. Adoption wasn’t a choice, but what other choices were there? All I could think about was that darn alley situation… STILL.
December