This is my journey of my life. How I over came all my struggles, insecurity's, down falls, overcoming addiction, my families abuse, and my triumphs. My Journey in life has been long and hard. I have learned a lot of lessons over the years. I will start off with where I am from and end with my greatest achievements.
I am from a small town in Oklahoma. I was raised in the city, and on a ranch. If I had to choose which one I liked best it would be the ranch. Do not get me wrong I like the city but, the ranch is much better. On the ranch I took long walks to think and clear my head.
I use to ride horses, I went fishing, and I had a hill that was so high that you could see for miles. That was one of the place's I liked to go when I needed a time out. I was alone, no one yelling at me. I just listened to the birds, the wind blow, and looked out over the trees. I felt like I could touch the clouds.
But living in the city there was so much co motion, sirens, cars, and people. It did not give me the peace of mind like living on the ranch. Living in the city there was so much to do though. I use to go to the movies, cruising, shopping, and hang out with my friends down town. But still there was no peace. I could not concentrate on anything. I felt like I was missing a part of my life somewhere. I know my siblings tried to help me feel like I belonged but, it was only a temporary fix.
My family had a lot of issues that no one wanted to address. Like being able to talk to each other and helping each other. I was the youngest of seven siblings. Five of us are still living. I have four half sisters and three half brothers. I am the baby of the family from my mom, and I am the second to the youngest from my dad. One of my sister's past when she was three days old. My other sister committed suicide at the age of twenty-five. She had three children of her own.
My only biological brother committed suicide at the age of thirty-five. We were very Close. He and I are thirteen months apart. I looked up to him. He was very protective of me. My oldest brother has depression, schizophrenia, and he has been committed several times in the past. But if he takes his medication he is fine.
My parents divorced when I was little. They both were over the road truck driver's so my biological brother and I went to live with our grandparents. “Wallerstein and Corbin (1999) found that teens from divorced households were unhappier as a result of the divorce.” I will agree to a point on this statement because I was unhappy but, not unhappy all the time. I had more questions than answers. My grandparents raised me in a household that was peaceful. They showed me that you do not have to yell, fight or argue to make your point. My other two brothers stayed with my mom. From the time I was six to eleven I saw my mom three times. I finally went to live with her when I was eleven. My mom has been married seven times; she has buried three children and four husbands.
I saw my dad about three times as I was growing up. The last time I saw him was when I was ten. I did not see him again until I was twenty-three. He missed out on watching me grow into smart women. Getting married, and having my own children. He had his own life and was living on the road driving a truck. My dad has been married six times. My family was so dysfunctional, no one knew what the other was doing or had done.
All my family did was fight, yell, and hit. I had one step-dad that was more of a father to me than any of the others including my own father. The only other step-dad I knew was mean. He was a drunk, and he hit my mom and brother's. He would curse at all of us and throw things across the room.
He raped my half sister, me, and my niece. My mom did not believe our accusations. She did not believe he would ever touch any of us girls. My sister was deceased when it all came out. My niece and I...