The original message states; "I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It's high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I'm pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one sell you on America."
The message will be much clearer if written as;
It is my honor to be the first to welcome you to our family in the United States. I am happy to finally be able to shake your hand, and also to have the opportunity of meeting and getting to know you in person. I hope you will enjoy being here. Please let me offer my assistance with any needs you may have.
The message is thoughtful, and welcoming. The reader may have some difficulty understanding abbreviations such as “ASAP”. The slang that is used could be misunderstood. “It's high time”, “I'm pleased as punch”, and “and I for one sell you on America.” Should be revised in order to make sure the reader understands all of the concepts in the message. Although the reader may be fluent in English keeping it simple and without slang will ensure that the message is understood. The message is brief but the context contains too many concepts which may confuse the reader which is why the message should be revised. I consider this original email message to be audience centered because it is directed from the author to address the reader.
JobsDB Resources for Jobseekers, How to greet when you meet retrieved on August 30th 2009, from...