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The Hunt for Relief

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  • August 2013
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The Hunt For Relief.
In this school they like to hide bathrooms. Every time I have to pee when I’m here I can never find a bathroom and it feels like an expedition on the frozen tundra.
When looking for a bathroom you have to look down every corridor and see if maybe there is a bathroom on the end. Of course people start to look at you like you’re insane. Have they never looked for a bathroom here? Inevitably you’ve looked down the wrong aisle so you have to keep on trudging around the school. By this point your bladder is probably exploding because I’m sure you waited to the last possible moment to go on this hunt because you didn’t want to miss any of your lecture in whatever class you’re in that you paid around $600 dollars for. You look down the next aisle and see a men’s room so you start to get excited thinking the women’s room must be right there, but obviously it’s not because that would make too much sense. Now you’re starting to get angry so you maybe start to swear to yourself causing more people to look at you like you’re bat shit crazy. Someone might even take pity on you and suggest that the woman’s room on the other end of the row. So you thank them and waddle across to the end where there’s frustratingly another men’s room. Lovely. You keep going, at this point in some sort of pain and try the next row where there’s nothing. By now you’re almost to the other end of the school and you feel like you’ve hiked miles. You start getting anxious, thinking your teacher must think you fell in or ditched class. Then you finally find the bathroom. It’s like heaven, your bladder is so happy. You finally get to relive yourself and then you head back to class and realize it’s been 10 minutes on this hunt for the bathroom. Now that you’ve made your journey back to the classroom you see that no one even realized you were gone this whole time.

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