The Crying Baby

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As a pediatric nurse, I could never understand how or why a parent could or would hurt a child, especially an infant. They are so small, gentle, soft, cute, cuddly, and vulnerable. This lack of understanding soon became clear to me. My second son was a crier, big time. It started on about the eighth dayhome from the hospital. I was playing trains with my oldest son (who was three at the time). Connor began to “fuss” in his bassinet. So I got up to check on him, I changed his diaper, breast fed him and rocked him back to sleep,,or so I thought. The second I placed him back in his bassinet, he started crying, not just the quiet whimper, but a piercing screaming type of cry. I immediately thought, “Oh, he has some air in his belly”. So I placed him upright on my chest over my shoulder and patted his back until he burped (which he never did). He eventually calmed down (after about 2 hours). My three year old, Cameron, just kept asking me, “Why won’t he stop crying mommy”? Only did I know, this would be the question I would begin to ask myself all day, every day for the next 6-7 months. This is an illustration of my time with a “cry baby”. Some say it was an extended colicky period, other say I wasn’t feeding him enough, others say it was what I was feeding him or that is was too much. Everyone had their own thoughts as to why my infant cried all day and gave input as to how they would go about “stopping the crying”, but no one knew how it felt to live with this little creature who took me to the edge of my being day in and day out. At his one month check up, I discussed my concerns with my Pediatrician;she suggested a different diet for breastfeeding and even said I should switch to formula. We tried it, nothing worked. We even tried reflux medications at two months with no success. Connorlived on my body, literally. I carried him around in a baby carrier across my chest for nearly 6 months straight just to keep him quiet. He slept there;he fed there, and even came...
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