The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People

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THE 100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF

Happy People
David Niven, Ph.D.

What Scientists Have L e a r n e d
and How You Can use it

THE 100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF

Happy People

THE 100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF

Happy People
What Scientists Have Learned And How You Can Use It

David Niven, Ph.D.

HarperSanFrancisco
A Division ofHarperCoUmsPublisbers

THE 100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE: What Scientists Have teamed

and How You Can Use It. Copyright© 2000 by David Niven, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022. HarperCollins books may be purchased for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information please write: Special Markets Department, HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 10 Easf53rd Street, New York, NY 10022. HarperCollins Web site: http://www.harpercollins.com HarperCollins®, ±® and HarperSanFrancisco™ are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. FIRST EDITION

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Niven, David, Ph.D. The 1 00 simple secrets of happy people : what scientists have learned and how you can use it / David Niven. — 1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 0-06-251650-7 (pbk.) 1. Happiness. 2. Conduct of life. !. Title: One hundred simple secrets of happy people. II. Title. BJ1481.N58 2000 158—dc21 99-087647 04 05 06 • / R R D 30

To T.O.

Contents

Introduction 1 Your Life Has Purpose and Meaning 2 Use a Strategy for Happiness 3 You Don't Have to Win Every Time 4 Your Goals Should Be Aligned with One Another 5 Choose Your Comparisons Wisely 6 Cultivate Friendships 7 Turn Off the TV 8 Accept Yourself—Unconditionally 9 Remember Where You Came From 10 Limit Yourself to Thinking About One Subject as You Lie Down to Sleep 11 Friendship Beats Money 12 Have Realistic Expectations 13 Be Open to New Ideas 14 Share with Others How Important They Are to You 15 If You're Not Sure, Guess Positively 16 Believe in Yourself 17 Don't Believe in Yourself Too Much 18 Don't Face Your Problems Alone 19 Age Is Not to Be Feared 20 Develop a Household Routine 21 Don't Be Overprotective 22 Pay Attention. You May Have What You Want VII

xiii 1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23 25 27 29 31 32 34 36 37 39 41

The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People 23 Don't Let Your Religious Beliefs Fade 24 Do What You Say You Are Going to Do 25 Don't Be Aggressive with Your Friends and Family 26 Root for the Home Team 27 Don't Confuse Stuff with Success 28 Every Relationship Is Different 29 Don't Think "What If" 30 Volunteer 31 If You Can't Reach Your Goals, Your Goals Will Hurt You 32 Exercise 33 Little Things Have Big Meanings 34 It's Not What Happened, It's How You Think About 43 45 47 49 51 53 55 57 59 61 63

What Happened
35 Develop Some Common Interests with Loved Ones

65
67

36 Laugh
37 Don't Let Your Entire Life Hinge on One Element 38 Share of Yourself 39 Busy Is Better Than Bored 40 Satisfaction Is Relative 41 Learn to Use a Computer 42 Try to Think Less About the People and Things That Bother You 43 Keep Your Family Close 44 Eat Some Fruit Every Day 45 Enjoy What You Have 46 Think in Concrete Terms 47 Be Socially Supportive 48 Don't Blame Yourself

69
71 73 75 77 79 81 83 85 87 89 91 92

49 Be a Peacemaker

94

VIII

Contents 50 Cherish Animals 51 Make Your Work a Calling 52 Never Trade Your Morals for Your Goals 53 Don't Pretend to Ignore Things Your Loved Ones Do That Bother You 54 Get a Good Night's Sleep 55 Buy What You Like 56 Accomplish Something Every Day 101 103 105 107 96 98 100

57 Be Flexible
58 Events Are Temporary 59 Be Your Own Fan 60 Join a Group 61 Be Positive 62 There Wifl Bean End, but You Can Be Prepared 63 How We See the World Is More...
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