Tears No More

Topics: Shower, Bathroom, Onion Pages: 2 (606 words) Published: April 23, 2011
Ruslan Ivanov
Professor J. Humphrey
ENG 120-86
24 March 2011

Tears no more
Ian Frazier is popular American satirist. One of his articles posted in “The New Yorker” called “How to operate the shower curtain”. In this article he talks about how to use the simplest thing we could imagine, the shower curtain. The way he describes its use is very ironic and funny, explaining in every detail possible. He says, “Remember to keep the shower curtain inside the tub at all times!” as if showering was an extremely dangerous activity where you have to follow step-by-step instructions (Frazier 1). Not only does he talk about the curtain itself, but also objects associated with showering such as shampoo bottles or even activities you have to perform in case of tripping and ripping off the shower curtain. Just like Frasier’s topic of discussion, our daily lives are filled with small, seemingly insignificant activities. Making a sandwich, peeling potatoes, eating a slice of pizza, all requiring the well coordinated, mindlessly route actions on our behalf, yet all have the potential – in the case of imbalance or any unforeseen occurrence at any step in the process – to be very frustrating. For example, despite opening and closing a shower curtain thousands of times in our life, we may one day, find ourselves on the bathroom floor making new holes on the shower curtain, in order to reattach it back to the rod after failure to exit the tub properly. Similarly, a little snack craving can turn into a disaster. An improperly opened bag of chips can lead to a small explosion of sliced potato pieces around the kitchen. In this case having a pet might be helpful, but most likely you will have to waist an extra 20 to 30 minutes cleaning up the mess. In either case, staying calm is essential. If your unsuccessful attempt to open a bag of chips is overheard, you can keep unwanted attention out by loud pronouncements that everything is okay. In the event of ripped shower curtain...
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