CHAPTER 32: ONE
The newly emerging Sybil was very different from what Dr. Wilbur had originally expected. Since Vicky had all the memories, and possessed more of the original Sybil than waking Sybil, the doctor had thought it might be a good idea to do away with all the selves, including waking Sybil, and allow Vicky to be the one self. Yet the doctor discovered that Vicky, like all the selves, existed for the express purpose of masking the feelings that the waking or central self could not bear to face.
The answer, therefore, had been to preserve the waking self as such while returning to it all the memories, emotions, knowledge, and modes of behavior of the other selves, thereby restoring the native capacities of the child. It also meant returning to the waking self the experiences of the one-third of Sybil’s life that the other selves alone had lived.
Sybil had begun to assume the behavior of the others. For example, what had been the exclusive preserve of Peggy Lou had become Sybil’s capacity to draw blanck and white. In fact, an overlapping of painting styles had developed among all the selves. On the other hand, although Peggy had returned to Sybil the multiplication that had been learned in Miss Henderson’s fifth- grade class, Sybil was still not proficient in its use.
In May and June, 1965, the use of of hypnosis had tapered off even more, now almost solely confined to communicating with the selves, who could not otherwise be reached. The days of Sybil’s dissociation and the spontaneous appearance of the secondary selves seemed over. However, an another self had emerged: the blond.
The blond self has been around for nine years, and the girl that Sybil would like to be. Born in tranquility, and has lived unseen. She was the adolescent self of Sybil, and although she emerged during the epilogue of Sybil’s treatment, she became no obstruction to her wellness.
On September 2, 1965, Dr. Wilbur recorded in her daily analysis notes on the Dorsett case: “All personalities one.”
Again Sybil was using the I as frame of reference of the erstwhile of the waking self. Triumphantly she added, “ Now the parts come together. The world seems whole.”
CHAPTER 31: RAMON
Ramon Allegre had aroused feelings in Sybil that to her were entirely new. Always afraid to see the same person, man or woman, too many times for fear that the friend would discover the lapses of time or meet one of the other selves, habitually unable to mamke plans in advance since the morrow might not belong to her, Sybil had dared to be with Ramon in the course of eight weeks of continuous dating.
When Ramon proposed marriage to Sybil, but Sybil refused the proposal . ramon then threatened her that if she’ll not marry him, she’ll never see him again. But, Sybil was adamant to reject’s Ramon’s proposal due to various reasons, but mostly because of her doubt in her abilities to be what Ramon was expecting her to be since she has a personality disorder.
Although very sad, Sybil realized that she had no reason to feel guilty for her actions. Ramon’s efforts to inflict guilt feeling on her had not succeeded. That realization gave her strength.
The memory was a lingering torture. It kept up a slow fire of remorse, a tremulous grief that would not ebb. She tried to propitiate her regret by an objective recollection of the practicality of his marriage suit and its implicit manipulation. Nevertheless, tears flooded her days. The remarks of the others still within her added to her distress.
The relationship with Ramon, however, troubled the doctor. The references to him in Sybil’s letters had in no way indicated the seriousness of their relationship.
She didn’t hope to love again. Yet there was triumph in defeat. In the old days a crisis like this would have caused Sybil to dissociate. Now, however, she had not only remained herself but also continued to recognize the new feelings of solidity. The grief she...
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