What about the joke:
Knock-knock Who's there?
Don't cry, I was only joking
"A moist young moon hung above the mist of a neighboring meadow." (V. Nabokov,Conclusive Evidence) 3. Assonance
“Dead in the middle of little Italy, little did we know that we riddled two middle men who didn't do diddily.” 4. Rhyme
"Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What do ya say?" (Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore, 1996) 5. Rhythm
By the shore of Gitchie Gumee,
By the shining Big-Sea-Water,
At the doorway of his wigwam,
In the pleasant Summer morning,
Hiawatha stood and waited.
"...his hair was bone white." (Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye) 7. Personification
"The road isn't built that can make it breathe hard!"(slogan for Chevrolet automobiles) 8. Allusion
Se looked as beautiful as Cinderella on her way to the ball
"There are obvious layers of allegory [in the movie Avatar]. The Pandora woods is a lot like the Amazon rainforest (the movie stops in its tracks for a heavy ecological speech or two), and the attempt to get the Na'vi to 'cooperate' carries overtones of the U.S. involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan." (Owen Gleiberman, review of Avatar. Entertainment Weekly, Dec. 30, 2009) 10. Metonymy
"Whitehall prepares for a hung parliament." (The Guardian, January 1, 2009) 11. Synecdoche
white-collar criminals, 9/11, All hands on deck.
“gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room." (Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove, 1964) 13. Interjections
"M'm! M'm! Good!" (Campbell's Soup advertising slogan)
14. The epithet
"As a result of the feminist revolution, 'feminine' becomes an abusive epithet." (Wyndham Lewis)
"How is it possible to have a civil war?" (George Carlin)
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep." (W.C. Fields) 16. Zeugma
"Kill the boys and the luggage!" (Fluellen in William Shakespeare's Henry V) 17. Pun/ paronomasia
"When it rains, it pours." (advertising slogan for Morton Salt) "Look deep into our ryes." (slogan of Wigler's Bakery)
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always." 19. Simile
Her voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard.
His feet were as big as a tree.
"My toaster has never once worked properly in four years. I follow the instructions and push two slices of bread down in the slots, and seconds later they rifle upwards. Once they broke the nose of a woman I loved dearly." (Woody Allen, "My Speech to the Graduates." The New York Times, Aug. 10, 1979) 21. Understatement/ Meiosis
"I have to have this operation. It isn't very serious. I have this tiny little tumor on the brain." (Holden Caulfield in The Catcher In The Rye, by J. D. Salinger) 22. Euphemism
Dr. House: Who were you going to kill in Bolivia? My old housekeeper? Dr. Terzi: We don't kill anyone.
Dr. House: I'm sorry--who were you going to marginalize?
("Whatever It Takes," House, M.D.)
23. A cliché
I'm fit as a fiddle. Let's do this thing! (Fit as a fiddle = to be ready and able) Stop talking back! Don't do as I do, do as I say! (Don't do as I do, do as I say. = Used when someone points out that you are being hypocritical (doing one thing while insisting that others that thing differently) 24. Proverbs
"Work smart, not hard. That's my philosophy, boss." (Dr. Gregory House, House, M.D.) 25. Epigram
"I am not young enough to know everything." (Oscar Wilde)
"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." (Tacitus) 26. Quotation
"'Not for attribution' and 'on background' are used to mean that a source's comments can be quoted, but he or she must not be directly identified." ("Forms of Speech." Time, Aug. 27, 1984) 27. Inversion
"Half an hour later came another inquiry as to tugs....