Step Parenting the in's and Out's

Step Parenting: The In’s and Out’s Parenting stepchildren should be an easy task, but it is not. This is not for the weak at heart. It takes a strong person to tackle helping raise another person’s child or children. When an adult can be the rock for a child who has went through abuse, then they should be happy to do so. Being a step parent is not the easiest thing to do. Naturally, a child loves their parents, but when there is a divorce or the biological parents split things get complicated. When either parent finds a new partner they become the step parent. When a child has a new step parent they do not have that natural love like they do for their biological parents. The step parent has to earn that love and trust. When you are a step parent you have many things that you have to take into consideration. How does the child feel? Is the child afraid of the new situation? How can you gain that love and trust? Is the child happy? These are just a few of the first questions you need to ask yourself when first becoming a step parent. You need to assess the situation and jump into gaining the love and trust of the child or children. But do not just into making them call you Mom or Dad, let them ask come to terms that you are in their life. The step parent needs to be able to communicate with the child in a manner that lets the child know that they are there for them but not trying to take their biological mother or fathers place. This can be a hard thing to do but it is the most important. If the step parent comes through as trying to take over the parents role the child will become withdrawn and maybe even resentful of the step parent. Communication is the key to having a good relationship with the step child. One study shows that avoidance of and quality of conversation has a very big impact on relationships between stepparents and stepchildren. Most of all be very patient with a child. “Avoiding conversations may be predictive of difficulties in solving

Cited: Ganong, L. H., Coleman, M., & Jamison, T. (2011). Patterns of stepchild - stepparent relationship development. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73(2), 396-413. http://search.proquest.com/docview/863687602?accountid=8289 Gosselin, J., & David, H. (2007). Risk and resilience factors linked with psychosocial adjustment of adolescents, stepparents and biological parents. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 48, 29-53.