The boy on the horse is not the man for me,
His boyish frame and pre-pubescent face repulses me,
His egotism is reflected by the shine of his armour,
What gives him the right to rescue me?
My idea of a hero is a full-grown man,
His rippling muscles and unkempt physique is what I imagine to see. The most important thing that my hero should know,
Is that he will not gain my love by rescuing me.
He needs to understand my personality and heart,
For I will not give him my love if he does not see,
I am perfectly capable of saving the world,
I could slay a dragon or fight a villain if I pleased.
I am sick of these men with their sexist presumptions,
It is my heart they need to fight for, not my life.
As for this pitiful story of the adolescent boy,
Could he not see that the dragon was on a leash?
The ignorant fool has now killed my pet,
I’m yelling at the boy with tears of upset,
I hope the storm that is brewing behind his back,
Is a storm of shame hailed upon him by the gods.
For the reason this boy is not the man for me,
Is that my idea of a hero is not as inconsiderate as he.
I am your brave prince charming,
I am wealthy and well known,
You are the one I have been waiting to save,
The one I long to own.
Have no fear of this dragon,
I will rescue you from this beast,
Once I cut you free you will be mine,
And we will live happily.
The truth about me is that I have saved many –
From Cinderella to Rapunzel; I have rescued them all.
The problem with these women was that they left me,
Muttering the word possessive, as they each head for the door. Am I not attractive in this armour upon horse?
Am I not the saviour you have been waiting for?
Let’s live a life of fairytales,
The type with a happy ending,
Surely after this rescue,
I will be promised a royal wedding?
I have gone on a quest to save you,
I have overcome obstacles on the way,
Now it is your duty to serve me,
It is the minor price you are required...