Ssk12 Example

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Essay 1 topic:

  Using the concept of a 'world view', identify some of the beliefs and attitudes, particularly to education and learning that you bring to your learning now. Reflect critically on how your worldview has been shaped by factors such as your gender, age or community. In your answer refer to Hobson (1996) and Samovar and Porter (2004) from the SSK12 Reader, and Chapter 1 in A Guide to Learning Independently (Marshall and Rowland, 2006, 1-18).  

  Student
 Essay
  General
 Comments
  (paragraph
 by
 paragraph)
 
Through
 my
 worldview
 I
 have
 developed
 the
 beliefs
 and
  attitudes
 that
 education
 is
 an
 entitlement,
 open
 to
 any
 person,
 at
  any
 age,
 at
 any
 stage
 of
 their
 life.
 This
 opinion
 has
 been
 formed
  throughout
 my
 life,
 and
 affected
 by
 factors
 such
 as
 my
 age,
  gender
 and
 the
 communities
 in
 which
 I
 live.
 
 In
 this
 essay
 I
 will
  explore
 these
 factors
 and
 demonstrate
 how
 they
 led
 to
 the
  formation
 of
 my
 current
 beliefs
 and
 attitudes
 to
 learning.
  This
 introduction
 has
 a
 clear
  structure
 and
 contains
 all
 necessary
  components.
 The
 position
 (thesis)
 is
  clearly
 stated
 from
 the
 onset.
 The
  scope
 of
 the
 essay
 is
 presented
 and
  the
 link
 between
 attitudes
 to
  education
 and
 factors
 in
 ones
 life
  has
 been
 drawn.
 The
 structure
 of
 the
  essay
 is
 briefly
 outlined.
 We
 can
  almost
 predict
 the
 organization
 of
  the
 rest
 of
 the
 essay.
  Hobson
 (1996)
 defines
 a
 world
 view
 as
 “the
 primary
 conceptual
  framework
 within
 which
 our
 beliefs,
 attitudes
 and
 values
 about
  our
 self
 and
 others
 rest.”
 
 This
 is
 very
 close
 to
 the
 definition
 of
  Samovar
 and
 Porter
 (2004,
 97)
 who
 describe
 a
 worldview
 as
 an
  “overarching
 philosophy.”
 
 The
 authors
 argue
 that
 the
  importance
 of
 a
 worldview
 is
 the
 way
 it
 will
 influence
 beliefs,
  values
 and
 perceptions.
 (Samovar
 and
 Porter
 2004,
 97)
 My
  world
 view
 is
 a
 result
 of
 being
 situated
 as
 a
 female,
 in
 my
 thirties,
  in
 Australia,
 and
 all
 of
 those
 factors
 have
 had
 an
 influence
 on
 my
  beliefs
 and
 attitudes
 towards
 education.
 
  This
 paragraphs
 aims
 to
 clearly
 set
  out
 a
 working
 definition
 of
 the
 key
  term
 ‘world
 view’
 and
 link
 it
 to
 the
  writer’s
 attitudes
 and
 beliefs
 on
  education.
 
  All
 definitions
 and
 ideas,
 which
 are
  not
 the
 writer’s
 are
 referenced
 and
  relevant
 page
 numbers
 are
 not
  given.
 This
 paragraph
 contains
 an
  example
 of
 a
 direct
 quote
 as
 well
 as
  paraphrasing.
 
 
  Recommendations:
  A
 clear
 topic
 sentence
 is
 missing;
 the
 

analysis
 flows
 better
 if
 paragraphs
  begin
 and
 end
 with
 the
 writer’s
 own
  words.
 
 

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