In Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon, Milkman Dead becomes a man by learning to respect and to listen to women. In the first part of the novel, he emulates his father, by being deaf to women's wisdom and women's needs, and casually disrespecting the women he should most respect. He chooses to stray from his father's example and leaves town to obtain his inheritance and to become a self-defined man. From Circe, a witch figure, he is inspired to be reciprocal, and through his struggle for equality with men and then with women, he begins to find his inheritance, which is knowing what it is to fly, not gold. At the end, he acts with kindness and reciprocity with Pilate, learning from her wisdom and accepting his responsibilities to women at last. By accepting his true inheritance from women, he becomes a man, who loves and respects women, who knows he can fly but also knows his responsibilties.
In the first part of the novel, Milkman is his father's son, a child taught to ignore the wisdom of women. Even when he is 31, he still needs "both his father and his aunt to get him off" the scrapes he gets into. Milkman considers himself Macon, Jr., calling himself by that name, and believing that he cannot act independently (120). The first lesson his father teaches him is that ownership is everything, and that women's knowledge (specifically, Pilate's knowledge) is not useful "in this world" (55). He is blind to the Pilate's wisdom. When Pilate tell Reba's lover that women's love is to be respected, he learns nothing (94).
In the same episode, he begins his incestuous affair with Hagar, leaving her 14 years later when his desire for her wanes. Milkman's experience with Hagar is analogous to his experience with his mother, and serves to "[stretch] his carefree boyhood out for thrifty-one years" (98). Hagar calls him into a room, unbuttons her blouse and smiles (92), just as his mother did (13). Milkman's desire for his mother's milk disappears before she stops milking him, and when Freddie discovers the situation and notes the inappropriateness, she is left without this comfort. Similarly, Milkman ends the affair with Hagar when he loses the desire for her and recognizes that this affair with his cousin is not socially approved, leaving Hagar coldly and consciously, with money and a letter of gratitude. He is as deaf to the needs of women and as imperiously self- righteous as his father, who abandons his wife when he believes she loves her father too much.
Macon teaches his son well the art of "pissing" on women. As Pilate attempts to awaken Macon to the inappropriateness of taking a dead man's gold and to their father's ghostly message, he urinates, enjoying the idea of "life, safety, and luxury" resulting from the gold (170). In his unnatural act, taking a man's life, he has become deaf to his past and to Pilate. Though Milkman urinates on his sister by accident, his act has the same implications as his father's. By inertia, he assumes his father's attitude toward women, placing them in the periphery of his mind, though they are the center and the source of his life. Pilate and Ruth saved him from his father's attempts at abortion, and his female relatives have done all of the work of raising him. He spies on his mother, he feels the same "lazy righteousness" as that which leads him to disrespect Hagar's claim to her rights in their relationship (120). He attempts to steal from Pilate, his aunt, in order to follow his father's instructions and to obtain the inheritance he feels will make him a man. At the end of part 1, his sister Magalene attempts to awaken his sensibilities to this through her diatribe on the effects of his blindness to his sisters' autonomy and their contributions to his well-being (215). He follows her advice, and leaves, not only her room, but the town and the identity he has been molded into by his father.
Milkman leaves to get the...